For the sake of politics
by origliasso
Summary: Because admiting your completely inlove with someone was never going to be easy for them.
1. Chapter 1

**Believe me the quality of my writing will get better over time!**

**First story i've done because i've had it for ages and kind of got bored.**

**Enjoy!**

Sometimes I wonder how it all started... one minute she was just a random girl in my year 10 maths class , then suddenly she was the love of my life.

I haven't even spoken to her once, for fucks sake.

Nobody even knows I'm gay well except for the exception of JJ plus I don't even know if I'm gay; he's really sweet and we're kind of close friends and besides a girl can't hold a secret like this to herself forever. Katie definitely wouldn't understand any of this if she knew.

The fact that I knew she was going to roundview for college made me secretly press Katie into applying there, I just told her that there would be loads of 'fit boys' there ignoring the real reason that I couldn't stand the fact I wouldn't see Naomi again.

***

It's Thursday and here I am sat in politics, I have no idea what's going on and I don't even think Kieran does either, he's my twat of a teacher who definitely doesn't want to be here, let alone teach. Politics really doesn't interest me at all, I'm only here because I finished my coursework in every other lesson and 'have to take up new classes'.

It was even more of a surprise to find out that Naomi was in my class and seems to be answering every single question that Kieran is throwing around. It just makes me wonder that I actually have no idea what interests Naomi. I know nothing about her.

"EMILY!" Suddenly I'm thrown out of my daydream by Kieran with most of the class staring at me

"Oh sorry..." I'm definitely blushing "I just got distracted" I apologise.

"Well maybe a question would snap you out of it?"... Oh no.

"What's the difference between a democrat and a republican?"

Oh fuck.

I look around the room doing the 'hopefully if I look like I'm trying to think he'll let me off' look... but then I catch her eye, she's looking at me... like she's expecting something... of course just my fucking answer I tell myself.

"Erm... sorry, I don't know" I hesitate saying each word slowly when suddenly the room erupts with loud laughter's. Seriously a girl doesn't know one damn answer and everyone finds it fucking hilarious.

I'm now definitely positive I'm blushing,

I need to start paying more attention to what the lessons actually about rather than the back of Naomi's head

There was one person of course not laughing... she looked more disappointed than anything.

"Of course you don't know! You spend half your time gazing into nowhere"

He almost sounded like a teacher for a moment

"Classes are over, you can all piss off now" OK. Kieran's back.

Naomi doesn't have many friends... actually she has none at all. I wonder if she gets lonely but if she does she definitely doesn't show it.

Sometimes just talking to JJ about Naomi can get annoying,

I try to bring up Naomi when I'm talking to Katie, but her usual response is just "uurgh I hate the dyke! Looking down on me in psychology... the fashion disaster has no right!"

so it never goes too well with her

***

Everyone exits the class but I'm still in here, I swear my bag gets stuck to anything and everyone in its way and it's currently jammed under the table, while I try to get it out I notice that I'm not alone Naomi is at the front of the class speaking to Kieran, most likely about her coursework, not that it's never perfectly done.

"FUCK YEAH!" my bag comes free from under the table and I obviously don't notice how loud I actually shouted that. I looked up and see two pairs of eyes looking at me, both slightly confused.

"Nice to see your cursing abilities Emily... maybe you could apply that in politics hey?" Kieran says sarcastically, and Naomi just looks at me with a smirk. I hope she knows who I am, what am I kidding of course she doesn't... probably due down to the fact that I never talk and if she's an inch by me my throat instantaneously closes up.

"Ha... yeah" I stutter both pairs of eyes still on me...

"Well anyway I better go-.." I get so close to the door.

"No actually Emily wait a moment" Kieran's motions me to his desk "me and Naomi were talking..." jeeze I actually cannot move, I know when he says 'me and Naomi' it's definitely just him talking to her.

I'm stood probably less than 30 centimetres away from the girl I daydream about constantly and now Kieran wants to talk politics... How great.

"And we both agreed that you could do with someone to help you... you know, sit by in class, help with essays?" I nod because that the only thing I can seem to do right now

"And I've asked Naomi and she'd be pleased to let you sit by her"

OMG.

"Err... if it's ok with her I don't mind like..." from the corner of my eye I can see a slight smile from her.

"Yeah why not, besides... I think you're the only person in this class who can actually spell their own name and of course politics is one of my strong points so... I'll help" she says... almost proud of herself

Ok that might be a compliment... and I might just have the cheesiest grin on my face... but does this also mean that she's noticed me?

Me Emily Fitch noticed by Naomi Campbell?! ok too Far., she's just a girl. Yeah right.

"Oh Naomi it definitely is eye!" Kieran responds, I actually think he's just happy he's got through to one brain out of the whole college

"So since you have your mock exam Monday... I say you too head up to the school library now"

And with that... He walks towards the door "cya tomorrow girls"

Leaving me and Naomi in the silent classroom.


	2. Chapter 2

I should be happy Kieran left us alone right? Well I would apart from the fact it's been a least 5 minutes of full silence. Okay here goes nothing

'Thanks... you didn't need to do that' I say quietly, she fiddles with her bag.

'If you ever need anything...' I continue on oblivious to how much of a weirdo I sound.

God Emily you're such a loser... why would she need anything off you?

She smirks 'Listen Emily its fine'

Maybe she likes me? Why else would she randomly decide to help? Oh god, please tell me she likes me!

'Besides, this would look really good on my university application'

Oh. Of course.

Forgetting I was in a conversation because of my resent disappointment I forget to say something back, and now she's looking at me. Jesus those eyes.

'Actually Emily, there is one thing you could do' anything seriously anything.

I don't say anything before she continues... oh god if she could only see how nervous I am.

'You could tell your sister to leave her opinions to herself yeah?'

Okay this is not how I thought my first conversation with Naomi Campbell would go... so Katie isn't the nicest person to her but she's not that bad. Okay that's a complete lie.

My twat of a sister and Naomi has been the worst of enemies since Katie started a rumour about Naomi's sexuality in year 9. I never actually found out why Katie did it, I wouldn't even try to ask because Katie would just accuse me of "loving Campbell and like I should stop being so fucking pathetic and try and get real friends"

Okay back in the room, I'm kind of actually shocked at what she said... like I have anything to do with Katie and what she decides to do.

'Yeah sorry about her, she's just...'

I don't really know how to finish that sentence, i really don't know why she is the way she is

'...a complete bitch'

Naomi seems taken back by what I say then she suddenly bursts out laughing, okay it is pretty funny, as if little Emily Fitch could ever say anything bad about her totally popular sister right?

I join in with her because it's better than standing here like a fucking mime.

'You're different' she suddenly says out of nowhere almost as if she's relieved ... That's when the laughter died down and her eyes bored into mine one more time.

'Sorry?' I'm slightly confused

'I don't know, I mean compared to Katie you're not as... talkative I suppose' oh great here it goes again, Emily Fitch the quiet girl who won't stand up to her sister.

'And that obviously makes me like you better' she's smiling, she's smiling at me!

I didn't even realise I'd been holding my breath and it feels like I haven't inhaled since we first started talking!

'Yeah' i choke out...

'I'm Emily, not Katie'

I ensure her with a smile and for once she genuinely smiles back.

***

We didn't actually end up going the library that day, something about Naomi had to get home or her house would be invaded by the 'fucking Jesus society' I never really understood what she meant but she promised to meet me Friday to revise, now that part I definitely understood.

It's Friday morning and I'm walking through college halls. Thankfully Katie isn't in today... apparently Danny decided to take her on a trip to see Bristol rovers reserves ground I mean come on as if she's actually interested in the ground, I don't actually want to think about what they'll get up to. I shiver.

Thankfully I'm brought out of that disgusting thought

'Hi Emily, Your hair looks especially red today, Kind of bright but just not too bright...'

'Oh hey JJ' I smile and give a small wave, sometimes i just want to laugh at how worked up he gets

JJ's my best friend to be honest, we met the first day of round view, he and his cock of a friend cook

Tried to 'pull' me by using magic tricks, cook got a kick in the balls off Katie and jj had a panic attack Of course being me I helped him to the nurses office, we got talking and I found out that we had a lot In common (no not model planes) and that it was really easy to open up to him and now here we are.

I reach into my locker pulling out my politics book, well I think its politics anyway, and I'm too busy happily humming away to myself, a day filled with no Katie and me and Naomi being in close proximity while revising today just makes a girl feel happier.

'So you seem happy today, not that your never happy, but you just seem more happier, i don't know what it is maybe your just glowing not that you're not... oh bobbins'

I giggle again, 'its nothing... just Naomi is helping me revise.....'

'NAOMI?'

Seriously JJ lower tone! People start to look at us.

'jay! Ssh!' i say looking around 'it's just studying okay?

'But Emily, it's Naomi..Naomi Campbell she's you know and you're...' he trails off

Okay now I'm confused, it's JJ he knows how much I like Naomi and it really doesn't bother him but now he's getting all locked on about it.

'What are you talking about JJ?'

'It's just she's really... unfriendly' he says like he's just offended me, I mean I suppose he's right, Naomi doesn't really have the nicest reputation. She's tough, builds walls that nobody else can see and completely does not socialise if she doesn't have to, not because she's a loser but just because she really doesn't want to.

I just stare at him for a second because what do I really say to that? As i go to answer him back with a witty remark I see him physically locking on and looking over my shoulder, i turn around and there she is looking like she's walking towards us.

But she's not walking towards me right? I mean why would she, we've had basically one conversation which was moderately friendly and Oh fuck... she IS walking towards me.

JJ's just about sprinting down the hall as i turn back to face him but i catch him by his backpack

'Fuck, jay, don't go! I can't talk to her alone fuck...' okay decision made, I begin to pick away at my politics book... I don't want to look to eager to see her right?

She's here now, right in front of me, oh Jesus that hair... Those eyes, her face!

'Hey Emily, hmm you ready to revise?' i thrown out of my thoughts, well at least she remembers my name right?

'Yeah let me just get my books...'

'Hey Naomi!' oh god jj please don't,

I press my lips together tightly hoping he's not going to say something that would truly embarrass me.

'Hi...' she says, so unfriendly and pretty much confused, that sums up my Naomi...

My? Get a grip Emily.

'It's jj... Well Jonah Jeremiah Jones, but JJ's more catchy don't you think?' Right... this is definitely not the conversation that i want my best friend to be having with the potential love of my life.

'Hmm very nice to meet you' the smile doesn't reach her eyes. Fake.

'Annnnnyway JJ we're going to go, cya at lunch... Try and not have another panic attack before then' I don't miss Naomi's giggle coming from the side of me.

'Rightio Emily, don't worry I've taken my meds today and it's definitely certain that I won't be having any anxiety or panic attack for a while now. Bye Naomi' he waves as we walk away, he can be quite cute.

***

We're sitting in the library and Naomi is talking about how much of a wanker Gordon brown is, well i think she is anyway, well I see her lips moving and the way her eyebrow quirks when she says something sarcastic but I'm actually too deep into her blue eyes to hear anything she is actually saying.

I love how free spirit she is; she just doesn't give a shit. If she has an opinion that's it and she's not changing for anyone. She kind of inspires me to be better at stuff like that.

'Well anyway, your boyfriends really... sweet' whoa wait a minute now that is something I did hear her say. What? My boyfriend oh god, when did the conversation actually change?

'What?!' I choke on my words and they sound strangled coming out.

God did I need to make that more obvious?

Might as well put a giant 'definitely gay' sticker on my head while we're here.

'Your boyfriend JJ?' she must see I'm clearly confused or she thinks I'm stupid and have forgotten his name

'or Jonah Jeremiah Jones?'

She imitates his voice which I can't help but laugh at and it sets her off too. We stay like that for a good 5 minutes before we eventually cool down and she smirks at me.

'You're cute' she says quietly that I barely hear it... and I freeze; did she really just call me cute?

She must sense me stiffen next to her and finishes off with a slightly embarrassed cough

'erm yeah i mean you're a cute couple' oh.

Fuck sake Emily; tell her you're not a couple go on! I can't seem to get my words out soon enough.

'Thanks' I blush... 'but me and JJ we're, definitely just friends' I say. No actually I state it.

Her eyes suddenly snap to mine and she looks at me like I should continue.

'Yeah I mean, I love him and all but he's really just like a brother' i smile at her

She returns it and looks back down to the revision 'Good' i hear her say more quiet than the last time but it's once again finished with something else '... because i mean it must be nice to be close to someone like that'

We continue to stare at each other before i turn back to my work.

I'm now definitely more intrigued to learn more about her.

That I know for sure.


	3. Chapter 3

**Hi! Thanks for the reviews people i really appreciate them :)**

**Enjoy!**

I either think I'm about to vomit or I'm going to explode with laughter, Naomi's just told me about the time she walked in on Kieran and her mum going at it and now we're both in tears. We spent all our dinner time talking in the library and now we're in the halls walking to next lesson

This is what it's been like for the past hour, we didn't even revise which Kieran won't be too happy about but fuck him, the girl I've been obsessed with for years is finally noticing and wanting to talk to me so I'm not exactly going to turn her down for a bit of revision right?

I'm actually kind of surprised I thought she'd want to get straight to it, be silent and just revise but 10 minutes in and we we're discussing everything about our lives.

She actually seemed interested in what I was saying unlike most guys Katie sets me up on dates with, it's all tits and footie with them... not that I'm saying this is a date, oh god I wish it was.

'Yeah and then he runs out of her room completely naked!' she screws up her face while laughing

I'm walking her to her next lesson, well actually I don't think she's noticed that I'm actually 'walking' her but that's the way we're going so I like to think that

'Burgh your mum must have a thing for dirty teachers' I say teasing her, she snorts and nudges me

'Listen don't get me started with family members and bad taste'

obviously she talking about Katie and I have to agree with her, Danny the footballer, Ste the stay at home boyfriend and Gary the complete twat... hmm Naomi has a point.

'Yeah well, that's Katie for you...' I say with a hint of sarcasm and Naomi smiles at me

We suddenly come to a stop and I look up to see her class, she awkwardly stops in front of me and looks at her feet 'so...' she looks up into my eyes

I start to slowly walk away backwards, maybe she didn't want me to even follow her to her lesson, she's probably bored of me already, I'm not exactly Katie fucking Fitch

'Yeah... I'll let you get in, thanks for you know...' I say quietly breaking eye contact, turn around and start to walk away.

This is probably the last time I'll talk to her like we did today... it's not like we're going to have any more opportunities. God I'm so fucking stupid, I should have known it was just revision.

'Emily...' she grabs my shoulder lightly and tugs at it till I turn around and face it

'Thanks, I mean I had fun you know, talking to you' Aww she's nervous, But Jesus she had fun? Well it was easy enough to hold a conversation with her shouldn't I be the nervous one right now?

I look up at her face and see her looking anywhere but me, say something Emily she's going to think you don't care

'Don't worry... all in the good name of politics right?' she laughs and now she looks into my eyes

'Yeah yeah' she rolls her eyes 'but anyway maybe sometime we can do it aga-'

'Emilyyyyyy' we both jump being taken out of our bubble by a screeching voice, fucking hell its Katie, why is she here? Wonder what Danny's done now.

Before Katie actually has time to reach me I quickly look back up to Naomi expecting her to finish her sentence but she just slowly smiles and says 'I'll see your around Emily' Thanks Katie you twat, thank you very fucking much.

She walks into her lesson.

***

'Emily' she screams again and I continue to stare at the door Naomi has just disappeared into.

'EMILY!' she's right behind me now and I'm completely pissed off.

'Katie, what the fuck? What do you want?!' I spit, she looks taken back.

'Listen bitch; don't take it out on me just because like I left you alone for a day yeah? If you had proper friends then maybe you wouldn't have to mope around all day like a moody fucking bitch'

She says in one complete sentence without taking a breath wow, well Katie is known to be great with her mouth. Slut.

'Leave me alone Katie' I say reverting back to my own quiet shell and begin to walk to psychology, usually I'd say something harsh to try and get back at her but right now I simply can't be bothered with her.

'Em's come on I'm sorry yeah?'

She says almost as if she feels sorry for me, shocked that my sister might actually care I turn around and stare at her.

Puffing out a breath 'Why are you even here Katie, what happened with Danny?' I ask.

'Turns out going to the ground actually meant watching football, as if you'd even think that right? Me and mud never mixed, anyway yeah forget about that twat, it's Friday and you're taking me shopping' again with the not taking as breath.

Hmm, shopping with my twin who will probably criticise every item I pick up or stay in college and possibly catch a glimpse of Naomi before she goes home for the weekend. God my life is turning pathetic.

'Sorry Can't, Psychology' I say anything so I don't need to be dragged along on this ordeal.

'But Emily,' I see tears shimmer in her eyes, there fake obviously

'You're my twin sister, it practically means your my best friend, come on please' oh I'm meant to believe this bullshit? Just as I'm about to leave she sniffs

'I need you'

Again it's fake and she's putting it on but I'm Emily and such a fucking push over.

'You better not buy us matching outfits' I smile and she laughs

'Fuck you' she says, and then she kisses my head 'love ya'

She links our arms and I prepare myself for a typical Katie Fitch shopping bonanza.

***

The shopping was absolutely terrible as I expected, it assisted of Katie dragging me around the Bristol high streets for five hours while she pointed out ridiculous items saying who they remind her of at round view. I wasn't really even listening to her to be honest, that's what I like to call a great little invention called the iPod.

The only time I actually paid attention was when Katie pointed out a sexy formal looking dress and commented on it saying 'Jesus fucking hell, with that price tag that could even make Campbell look slightly nice' I didn't comment on it obviously. I might have gone overboard and just blurted out how sexy 'Campbell' already looks thank you very fucking much.

I managed to bribe Katie with a coffee and donut then eventually we made our way home, oh but wait not before Katie commented on how fit the bloke behind the till was and how I should definitely keep coming back till he asks me out. No Katie, just no.

***

Weekends, I love them, just time for me to spend and do whatever the fuck I like without Katie breathing down my neck, oh yeah Katie's always out on weekends , always in Danny's while he practices new ball tricks we all know what that means.

I wake up feeling really refreshed considering how tiring my Friday was; let's just say convincing Katie that she looks fine in a top that barely has any material on can take a lot of fucking strength out of a girl. It's 8am and the sun is peaking through the window, I take a look at Katie's side of the room and of course she's already gone, but left behind is her fucking mess that no doubt I will be the one to clean.

My phone starts to vibrate rather violently on my bedside table, and oh god really I mean who phones someone at 8am?

'Hello...' I asked curious, I could look at the caller I.D but I don't think my eyes actually work of a morning

'Oh yeah hello Emily, you're awake! Not that you're lazy and would stay in bed for a later time it's just that 8am is pretty early for someone who isn't in coll-' even on a phone he gets locked on. Hilarious.

'Yeah hey jay! I'm awake... what's up?'

'It's just; bobbins you haven't forgotten have you? Because if you have I can go by myself, Dr Evans says it's probably more independent for me if I do come alone but it's nice to have you there Emily, and after we can go the park and get ice-cream oh jeeze' oh! I should have known, I've been getting the same phone call every Saturday for 8 weeks now!

'JJ of course I haven't forgotten! I go with you every Saturday right? But why are you phoning now your appointments at 12 right?'

Oh right I'll explain, well when me and JJ started to become close he told me about the psychiatric centre he visits that helps him with his autism, while explaining he started freaking out saying how he's not a freak and doesn't mean to scare me off, I just laughed at him, I thought it was kind of cool that he's found ways to cope with it, that relieved him a lot.

One weekend I decided to visit there with him and see what they do, I'd really just end up staying in the waiting room for 2 hours waiting for him but it was alright because in the long run it made him feel more comfortable having someone there with him. Then I decided to go with him all the time, it wasn't that long so whatever I needed to do on the weekend could be done before or after the appointment.

'hmm well, I didn't see you dinner time yesterday as you said we'd see each other, so I was just wondering about how it was with Naomi, did she say something mean because Emily she's like that with everyone so it does-' well at least he cares I suppose?

'No, she was... really kind, weird actually I suppose, maybe she likes me...' I just mean as a friend obviously... well I think I do.

'well I wouldn't see why not Emily you're really kind, and pretty and oh I mean as a friend, yes hmm pretty as a friend' ohhhh I could seriously just squeeze his cheeks through the phone he's too cute.

'Yeah... thanks j, anyway I'm going to go, see you later'

***

12:05, JJ's officially 5 minutes into his appointment and I'm already seriously bored, okay so I really shouldn't complain I did offer to come with him all the time but still, a little atmosphere in this place couldn't hurt right?

I'm sitting on a rather uncomfortable plastic chair while flicking through a heat magazine; seriously if I wanted to know what Cheryl Cole was up to I'd just ask Katie for it in full detail.

Obviously because there's nothing else to do I start to really concentrate on the 'what to wear' article when a shadow cover's over me and I feel a presence.

Hmm... JJ's appointment must have got cancelled

'Hey Emily'

That's not JJ; I look up to see a pair of lips smirking down at me.

'Naomi?'


	4. Chapter 4

I think I've been here for every Saturday for 3 months now and not once have I seen Naomi, this is the one place I thought I'd definitely never see her. I'm probably looking like a complete twat right now because I'm still holding the heat magazine in the reading position and she's converted her eyes to it.

'Any good?' she raises her eyebrow and nods towards the page I'm on 'what to wear' oh god could that be a any worse page to be reading in front of a girl who completely loves literature classics?

'Naomi' I repeat again ignoring her teasing question 'what are you doing here?' I slowly roll the magazine up and throw it onto the table in front of me; she notices my sudden blush of course.

She walks towards the seat next to me and I move my bag and she smiles and sits down, she hasn't answered my question yet... that's if she does answer, it's not like she has to? I mean who am I to even ask- fucking hell Emily you're acting like JJ calm down.

She must think I'm crazy right? I'm sat by myself in the middle of a psychiatric clinic... she must think I'm a patient god. I'm going to have to say something

I turn to face her about to assure her that I'm not fucking crazy and I see her face down rummaging through her bag, I open my mouth to speak when it suddenly hits me

Wait, what is she doing here?

She is sitting down... maybe she's got an appointment? Wow I knew she was mostly bitchy and people found it hard to socialise with her but I never really considered that she'd be seeing a psychiatrist.

'Ah-ha, found it' I snap from my thoughts when I hear Naomi making a victory sound and a colourful leaflet is thrown in my face.

I grab the corner of the leaflet and focus on its words... I then read the giant bold font stamped on the front 'Save the Bristol Crazies!' catchy I giggle to myself, there's also a picture of a group of people with one blonde woman leading them who looks scarily like an older version of Naomi.

Okay so a protest or something? I don't know I'm pretty confused so I face her and shrug. She grabs the leaflet still in my hand turning it to face me while prodding the older blondes face with her thumb.

'My mum...' she says waiting for my reaction and I just nod a long.

'She's a fucking loon, has this whole idea that letting people come into this place is just making them worse' she stops for a moment and scans my face

'so I' she gestures around the room 'was sent here to hand these to the receptionist, you know... as a kind of scary feminist warning' she smirks and I laugh, mainly at myself for thinking Naomi was in here to get help. Of course she doesn't need this. She's her own person

'Of course' I continue to laugh, I then put the leaflet at the side of her face and say smugly pointing to her mum and then back to Naomi

'Well Naoms she's beautiful, at least I know where you get your looks from now'

Okay there was like 19389 things wrong with what I've just said and only one thing right about it. First of all naoms, Emily really? What is this you're fucking pet name? And second of all I've just without making it too obvious called her beautiful, well I suppose there's nothing wrong with that because she is.

The definite right thing is that I've made her blush and look away. Bonus.

'I'll tell my mum you said' she jokes and I laugh.

We then fall into a comfortable silence, there's only me, Naomi and a half dead receptionist sitting in here so it's pretty quiet. I've also noticed Naomi hasn't left yet... she only had to see the receptionist right?

'So... why are you here?'

Oh yeah! Tell her you're not here to see someone Emily Jesus

'Oh hmm, JJ you remember him right? She nods 'well yeah, he see's people here to help him out and I come along and wait till his appointments finished because it helps him calm down' she takes it in.

'Well my mum wouldn't be happy with me talking to someone of a accomplice who use's these 'brain wash' clinics' she smiles at me then continues 'but that's really sweet of you Emily' she says sincerely in the cutest voice ever.

'Hmm so how long do you have to wait?'

I look at my watch and puff out my breath 'oh you know, just another hour and 40 minutes.

She laughs 'Jesus! How long does he need?' she starts 'well good job I'm here then em's...'

Hmm very good job indeed I think to myself and then I freeze when she says the end of her sentence

'You are officially invited to spend the next hour and...' she now looks at her watch '38 minutes with me in a very comfy coffee place down the road' oh my my my my god!

'ye-yeah... sounds good' I do a combination of smile and complete shock which she doesn't seem to notice.

***

We took the corner booth of the coffee place and she decided to order 2 black coffees which she insists I must try in this place because they are the best. Ordering for me, bossy I like it.

I must admit it does taste pretty amazing.

She currently teasing me about how into heat magazine I was and how violently I blushed when she caught me, so embarrassing but I laugh along with her because really it is pretty fucking funny.

'I had to even stop for a minute when I saw you sitting there, kept thinking it was Katie thinking she was in a boob job clinic instead' she says in-between laughs

'Ah god don't Naomi, we look completely different I mean she's pop music and I'm acoustic...'

I continue on comparing me and Katie, 'she's hair extensions and I'm books'

And now for the final one Katie is well known for 'she's 'the sexy one' and I'm...'

'The nice one that no one notices?'

Woah... she finished it for me. Bit harsh but yeah, she totally gets me. We both stay silent... I don't even try to look up at her, my eyes would be way too expressive and she'd run a fucking mile.

I suddenly feel really sorry for her, Naomi cares about things she isn't a cold hearted bitch. She cares about people and that's all just repressed because of people like Katie and stupid fucking year 9 rumours that made Katie the popular bitch she is today.

'Katie's a bitch Naomi... she has her moments but most of the time, she's just judging people'

I finally brave and look up to see Naomi looking at me with sudden interest... I think she's wondering why I'm telling her all this shit right.

'Year 9 when Katie spread all that shit I tried to stop her but-'

'Emily, I really don't care what Katie or any of them fucking twats think about me okay?'

She replies kind of harshly and I wonder maybe if bringing up the past has overstepped the line.

'and no, it's not like anyone even tried to stand up for me when everyone's to shit afraid of the all mighty Katie fucking Fitch right?' god she's practically scowling at me now.

'I mean it's just as typical of people as stupid as them to come up with the gay rumour right? Very original' she says, I bet she's had to say this for the past 4 years.

'I know I'm not gay so there rumour never fucking mattered as much as they thought it would'

Oh right. Not gay I forgot. We're friends... well, probably not even friends now.

'I better go, your friend JJ will be out soon' she doesn't even look at me

'Yeah thanks for coffee' I offer with a friendly tone

'Yeah...' she says... Then followed by the words she always seems to say 'see you round' before blankly walking off and acting like a stranger that's just bumped into me.

***

After I went back to get JJ, he walked me home and we said our goodbyes. At least he actually has some emotion when we depart unlike someone fucking else. Yeah I'm slightly pissed off at her, I only tried to make things better and then I got the stone cold I just don't give a fuck Naomi thrown back at me. Don't even know why I try... that's why me and JJ are close, people treat us like shit and we just smile and get on with it, well this fucking has to stop right now.

***

I walk in my room and Katie's spread out across her bed whilst painting her nails, she looks up and I get the most evil dagger of stares I've ever seen her give.

'Do you ever check your fucking phone?' oops 6 missed calls from Katie, how dare I not answer the phone to her.

I ignore her basically because she's a stubborn bitch and she was probably only ringing me to ask if I could pick her up some chocolate while I'm out.

'Or was you too busy out on your date with Naomi?' my head snaps to her so fast my neck could actually be broken

'W what are you talking about' I stutter

'Don't give me that shit Emily, I saw you two, the golden cafe, 12:30?'

'Katie I bumped into-'she doesn't let me finish my sentence obviously

'Listen yeah Emily, stay. The. Fuck. Away. From. Her' she gets off the bed and takes a step towards me

'She's a proper weirdo and she's only gunna get your name thrown round the college with her, and you're like my sister yeah? And that would make me look so fucking bad it's unbelievable' oh typical

'All about you isn't it Katie?' I spit at her and before she answers I put her out of my misery

'And it wasn't a fucking date you twat, I was waiting for JJ and I bumped into her, we had coffee and that was it, we're not even friends! And I definitely probably won't be hanging with her again' well, it is true...

I'm going to take the back seat of mine and Naomi's little 'friendship' now. I'm sick of getting my hopes up when she's nice for a couple of hours then shut down the next when she decides its okay with her. But fine what the fuck ever, I'll stick with JJ, that way I won't get hurt.

'And she's not even fucking gay, so your rumour was complete bullshit' she's looking wide eyed at me, I don't think I've ever called Katie so many swear words in one sentence before

'AND YOUR NOT GAY EITHER SO WHY ARE YOU BEING SUCH A BITCH ABOUT IT' she actually screams it in my face... she's so intimidating I'm nearly brought to tears when I quietly squeeze out my words.

'No, no I'm not gay.' I whisper rather defenceless

'I know you're not Emily, but not having a boyfriend and hanging out with a fucking mong isn't exactly doing anything to your reputation is it?'

'Kay, please leave him alone, I love JJ, and He's my best friend...'

'I know yeah Emily, okay sorry... he's sweet it's just I want you to be happy' she smiles and I return it briefly

She takes a deep breath 'anyway yeah, the gangs out tonight, me, you, Effs, panda and the boys... should be a laugh' she walks back to her bed 'you up for it?'

I take a deep breath and think, I could be pathetic and stay at home all night or I could go out and actually try and enjoy myself for once with my friends

'Yeah' she smiles... 'Should be fun' I say.


	5. Chapter 5

**Once again thanks for reviewing! means a lot :)**

**hmm... may slow my updates down a bit, but don't know yet.**

**anyway enjoy!**

Okay I actually have to admit, coming out with everyone tonight wasn't a bad idea. I'm actually having fun catching up and just generally laughing with everyone. Okay so Katie is still being a self obsessed bitch and throwing me at every guy who looks my way but that's easier to forget about when you're in a club surrounded by loud music and penetrating strobe lights, fuck this is actually amazing.

I'm slightly, no completely out of it but so what, everyone else is as well with the exception of JJ, no one wants to see another repeat of the last time he mixed alcohol with his medications. Believe me.

Lasers flashing, people jumping, bodies pushing into each other I find myself in the middle of the dance floor with the rest of the girls. Well actually Katie's grinding against some poor fuckers leg and Pandora is completely spas dancing but its fine because tonight we can do whatever the fuck we want, I'm sick of holding back!

I stop my observing when a pair of arms snake around my waist, I turn around and see a moderately nice looking guy staring back down at me, not that I'm into that of course. His body sways in time with mine, Fuck it! Might as well go along with him, not like I'm going to get any better offers off the person I actually want to be doing this, and it's not like she's actually here anyway and god Emily stop thinking about her, it's never going to happen.

So here I am, guy attached to me, great music, great company, well minus the actual guy attached to my hip, but I'm going to just go with this because right now Katie's looking at me like she's actually proud and even on Katie's standards and probably by how much straight vodka's I've had it actually makes me feel like I'm worth something to her now.

His rough hands grab at my upper body as I dance my back still swaying up against him, Katie's still with her pick of the day but I can see her looking over his shoulder watching my every move and then she winks at me, fuck trust Katie to let her sister get molestered on a dance floor, strangely I'm actually enjoying this, this guy is obviously into me and it's nice oh and I'm pissed enough to pretend I'm into him for a couple of hours.

He leans in and whispers into my ear

'I'm getting you a drink'

see? Straight forward, didn't ask if I wanted it, just told me I was having one, no mixed signals or fucking riddles.

I smile and nod at him then he leaves my side and pushes his way towards the bar, should I go with him? Stay here like a pathetic twat. Don't worry Katie's already made her decision for me, she says something to the person she's with and he nods, now she's making her way over to me

'Emzy I'm jealous, follow him! He's well fit!' I smirk at her before slurring

'Oh Katie, I fucking loveeeeeeee you! You have the best advice'

and omg if she couldn't be any more stupid she thinks I'm complimenting her and she hugs me, that wasn't a compliment I was actually trying to tell her to mind her own fucking business

'Love you too em, now go!'

Walking, well actually more falling though the crowd I make my way to the bar when I see him with two drinks in his hand, he motions me over to a table and I gladly accept. He hands me the drink and proceeds to drink his in one go, wow beer... he knows a girl so well, I sip at it then put it down and start fiddling with my hands.

'So... what's your name babe?' he leans forward and great, he's definitely looking at my tits.

God the way he said the babe was so smug and grubby makes me want to just get up and leave right now, but no I play along. This is definitely not going to go past any harmless flirting so fuck yeah, I'm going to go all out prove to everyone that I'm not just the frigid boring quiet twin that people have to put up to.

So I get up and walk round to him, then I lower myself down on his lap

'The names Emily'

I say and then I giggle, oh yeah I can't control my alcohol, but let's get over that fact.

'Emily' he repeats scanning his eyes over my body and tugging at his bottom lip with his teeth. Eurgh.

'I'm mike' no he couldn't just tell me, he also has to trail his hand straight up and down my thigh as he did it, but still at least he actually wants me.

'So how's about it gorgeous...'

He starts, hand still on thigh

'You go and show me more moves, and I'll show you some of my own moves later tonight'

so fucking sleazy, funny that he actually just used that sentence, even more funny if she thinks I'm going anywhere with him tonight.

But still free drinks for a harmless bit of flirting isn't bad so I think I might just stick with this.

'Yeah' my voice comes out husky... I'm not so good at this whole flirting thing, I need a time out

'how's about you get ready for the best dance of your life babe, I'm just going to pop the ladies room' he then winks at me and taps his noise

'Oh yeah ladies room, gotcha' okay what the fuck does that mean? Well anyway I just giggle and stagger towards the toilets. Walking by cook who's currently got a girl pushed up against a wall. Very classy cook.

'Emily man! Looking sexy tonight babe' he waggles his tongue, I laugh and flip him off, cooks harmless, a good mate, you got to love him.

Finally I find the girls room, fuck for a club you've expect them to be close, there all the way down the stairs and it's rather dark and dingy down here, I go to push the door open when I'm suddenly slammed into a wall, oh god it's mike, he smiles then sticks his tongue in my mouth in a soaring kiss, fuck what do I do? What the fuck is he doing? In a moment of panic I start to kiss him back with the same intensity, hating every minute of it.

'Got to say babe, never done it in a toilet before, great fucking idea babe' he says between kisses and I'm in complete shock, done it? Toilets? My fucking idea? What!?

Omg the wink, the way he tapped his nose, he thought I invited him down here for sex? Fuck!

Where still kissing, not because I want to sleep with this twat but because I don't know what to do, his dark hair with light reflecting off it and his rough hands all over, I can't help thinking about Naomi, how she opened up to me and how completely amazing she was.

Her deep blue caring eyes, her blonde hair, her completely soft hand sometimes brushing against mine when I walked her to her English class, what am I doing? Before I know it tears start to fall down my face thinking about this, I can't be doing this, it's so fucking wrong and she's so right and she's not here right now, not even just to have a friendly chat with.

Now mikes sucking at my neck and it hurt so badly but I feel so completely numb, I'd rather have Naomi in my life just as a friend than not have her at all, but still she turned, left me sitting in that cafe alone wondering what the fuck I had done, completely turned, oh god I can't trust anyone.

'Come on babe, move a bit yeah? This is usually a team afford' the dirty fucking piece of scum.

I push him off me and he looks confused 'sorry... I, it's just,'

Tears start to fall again, not that he's actually noticing here; too busy trying to get into my knickers.

'No, EMILY' he says my name harshly and throws his hands on my wrists

'Where having fun babe, come on' I shake my head at him whilst looking down at my feet and burst out crying one more time

'Why the fuck are you even crying... I haven't done anything to you' he shouts at me whilst making a bee line for the stairs 'typical, knew you'd be a fucking tease' and with that he's gone and I shrink down to the bottom of the wall and cradle my legs.

***

After having a good cry for ten minutes, id entered the girls bathroom which is completely empty, filled the sink and started to wipe at my dirty run make up whilst applying a fresh new layer. I hear heels tapping down the stairs from the hall outside and then the door bursts open. Katie, looking straight at me

'What the fuck Emily? Just ran into mike, what's wrong with you girl... he's completely fit and then you just go and lead him on' oh god I cannot believe she's saying this, she can probably see how physically upset I look and here she goes egging her sister on to have fucking sex in a dirty toilet.

Its official, I've lost my temper.

'Do you not fucking care about anything, anyone? Katie I'm your fucking sister, just care about me for a second please, care about me!' I basically throw my heart at her and she just harshly laughs in my face.

'god Em's you really are pathetic, If anyone knew the guy you just turned down everyone would think you we're fucking mental, actually you are fucking mental' she spits at me.

'Can you not get into your fucking head for at least two seconds Katie that I might not want to go out, shag a random guy in a fucking club and then come home riddled with crabs thanks! Might be the fucking way you like to do it but definitely not me!' she looks furious

And for the second time tonight I'm shoved against a wall but this time for a completely different reason.

'Listen you little bitch, I can't keep looking after you anymore alright? I've stopped people thinking you're a fucking weirdo but maybe it's time people start to know the real you, boring fucking Emily who can't get a boyfriend because she's a shit scared little cow' no point reapplying my make-up because it's completely running down my face again

'Maybe I just want people to see the real me' crying visible in my voice 'maybe I don't want a boyfriend' I swallow hard and the next sentence is a mix of being scared, alcohol and how pissed off I am about Katie pinning me to a fucking wall. 'Maybe I never want a boyfriend!' I shout at her.

She loosens her grip on me giving me time to rub my wrists, and then she looks at me wide eyed

'What are you trying to say Emily?' she asks me quiet and so vulnerable, this was never meant to happen.

'Just go fuck yourself Katie, I'm sure, tom, Danny or what the fuck ever person your cheating on your boyfriend with is waiting for you' I motion with my hands towards the door whilst facing the sink

I turn around to see if she's gone and slap, yeah full on fist in my face and all, I fly a few steps back and land against the sink, hand clutched to my cheek in disbelieve and Katie with her mouth open.

'Katie, what the fuck are you doing?' Effys says, obviously she just witnessed it all from the door, she rushes over to me 'Em, are you alright?' she grabs my hand to move it away from my cheek to examine it.

'Oh fuck off all of you! Don't even pretend to care!' I scream at them both and run towards to door, past the dance floors, hearing the faint sound of JJ shouting my name and Effy trying to catch up to me then outside.

I then proceed to vomit in the alley way, so all in all a smashing night.

***

So it's after midnight, I'm a teenager and I'm currently walking through a very quiet park on the way home, I'm sure all that is criteria for being raped or mugged or something? But that's the last on my mind fuck, everything is so fucking shit, everything... I hate it all and the tears won't fucking stop.

20 missed calls and 15 texts, whoa someone's miss fucking popular, most of them are just Katie asking me where I am, JJ's worrying about me being alone in the night, fucking love him, And Effy's asking me to call her. Most of the missed calls are off Freddie, Thomas and cook. I quickly text JJ to tell him I'm alright and I might pop round his tomorrow, anything to not face Katie.

But fuck the rest, JJ's he most important to me, I'll let Katie fucking worry the bitch deserves it.

'Emily?' no this cannot possibly to fucking happening, I turn around and there she is, Naomi fucking Campbell sitting on a bench wrapped in layers of clothes, god I didn't even notice how freezing it was and here's me in just a t-shirt.

She squints her eyes as if I'm not real and approaching me softly 'Emily...' I'm already aware I look a disgrace, mascara running down my face and my eyes all bloodshot but for once in my life I really couldn't give a shit.

She's also aware of this too 'Emily, are you okay? Jesus you must be freezing, are you aware of the fucking time? Anything could happen to you Emily, what were you thinking?'

Wow Naomi you did your best act to try and look like you cared there hey?

Usually I'd stutter like a complete twat and get choked up and nervous but I'm slightly drunk and really upset so I do nothing but stare at her as if she hasn't just asked me a bunch of questions.

She see's my fragile state and walks towards me and goes to put her hand on my shoulder

'Don't touch me'

I say flinching away from her touch and she looks taken back. But believe me I could have bumped into anyone in this park tonight and I would have said and done the complete same thing, I feel so empty right now.

Her eyes are full of concern, I suppose she must be worried, I don't think I've ever said anything to her that wasn't flattering or nice, she must be confused. I stare at her eyes and then turn my back and carry walking in the direction I was going.

She doesn't follow, because it's Naomi and she doesn't chase people.

Then I hear footsteps on the gravel 'Em, Em stop please, tell me what's wrong'

Tell her what's wrong? What's right... it would be simpler to say but no she's getting my full raft?

'Wrong? Oh don't act like you fucking care about me Naomi! Please honestly I'd rather you tell me to fuck off and keep shitting on me because everyone else does!'

That's right Emily get everything up

'I know you don't care and you know what you don't even have to care... so please leave me to just walk away so I can get home and continue to live my fucking deluded life okay...'

I had to tell her how much coffee fucking pissed me off; I was drunk right now and without alcohol running through my system I may not ever get the courage again.

'you know, people think you're a cold hearted bitch, and I thought no she couldn't be, people just see people how they want to see them right? But no not me because I couldn't possibly think the worst in someone, so go on Naomi just leave like you did at coffee, sorry for caring'

And with that I leave one more time but not before so grab my wrist.

'I fucking care okay Emily? Your walking through a park in complete pitch black, you're shivering to fuck and quite frankly you look terribly upset, so don't you dare fucking tell me I don't care alright?'

And with that the tears that threatened to leave come bursting out, the most I've cried tonight is right now. She cares Emily, she cares but still everything is so fucking shit right now and I just needed someone to care.

She pulls me in tightly hugging me as I cry my heart out, my brain shouting at me that I'm currently crying into Naomi Campbell neck and I'm defiantly going to regret this but right now it feels so right.

'I'm not letting you walk home in this state...' she whispers as I continue to sob she then rubs soothing circles with her palms on my back.

'I'm taking you back to mine, it's freezing and you'll catch something, beside I only live across the park'

She then pulls back and looks at my face 'and you're going to tell me who's got you this upset...' she says still rubbing my back

I smile at her and rub my eyes to get the tears away until there red raw, something tells me that tonight is going to come back and completely fuck everything up... but right now I think I'm on to something.


	6. Chapter 6

**:) **

My cheek hurts, and I mean really hurts... suppose it makes sense, Katie was always good at hurting people mentally, I guess physically was the next step with me and her. It's also really fucking cold that breathing is starting to become difficult, feels like my throat is closed up right now.

All that shit doesn't matter at the moment, because I'm walking down Naomi's street... hand in hand with Naomi, yes. And no I didn't reach for her hand and make sure it stayed there whilst walking back to her house, it was all her, she done the reaching and she's doing the light circles currently tingling across my outer hand, if I wasn't so fucked up right now I might take this as a positive sign.

We come to a halt by a rather unique looking yellow house... yellow, I like yellow and I smile to myself because of course Naomi's house was ever going to be anything but normal. It's rather hard to see anymore detail because its pitch black outside now but it's beautiful, like her.

I feel her thumb glide across my hand and I look up to see her grinning at me, 'Home sweet Home' she says while tugging my hand up the pathway. Won't her mum be in? God I can't face and meet for the first time the woman that brought her up looking like this.

'Wait' I say pulling her hand till we both stop centimetres away from the door and she looks at me, basically she wants an explanation

'Won't your mum mind having round a distraught mess at this time?' I say, because it's true... I certainly wouldn't want someone in my house looking the way I do right now; I probably look like a really cheap hooker right now.

'You don't look a distraught mess' she answers quietly and sincerely completely skipping past the actual question...

I look up and she's looking into my eyes, god there so blue... I knew they were blue but in an intoxicated state they're fucking ecstatically blue, so fucking caring and her face is so close to me, I wrestle with my conscience just kiss her, tonight can't get any worse anyway... she might even kiss back? But the better side of me is saying she's just a friend, and if I kiss her right now she's going to run a mile and then I'm definitely alone and with no one to trust.

She notices the silence, she probably also notices the way I'm admiring her fucking eyes, look away Emily.

'My mum once left our door unlocked all night in case anyone in Bristol needed a bed for the night'

She looks up remembering and she starts to smile

'She's fucking crazy Emily, of course she wouldn't mind'

She tugs my hand which has still been in hers all this time 'and besides' she finishes

'She's not home tonight' she winks.

I'm sure it was friendly, it was friendly right?

***

I like her house; it's comfy and just seems friendly, which is a weird way to describe a house I know. It's not so much a family home, from what she's told me it's only her and her mum here, which is kind of odd because the place is cluttered (not in a messy way) of lots of things I'm sure you'd find in a house which had more than two people in.

I'm now on her bed alone, not that way, god I wish. After we got into the house she basically pulled me up the stairs, my legs didn't seem to work, fuck I was in Naomi's house in such a state, this is not what I looked like when I pictured the first time I would have wanted to be in her house. But anyway she told me to sit and then went to make us some tea to calm me down that's when our hands finally separated, not trying to be a Pandora here but god she is a dream.

Her room is exactly how I pictured, not too girly but still the hint of who she is... political posters covering most of her walls, double bed with randomly coloured sheets to it, and a sink, sink in your room, yeah I wondered about that one too, it's nice... I like it.

My phone vibrates again and I take it out my pocket, fucking Katie

_'Emily I'm sorry, I didn't mean it... please come back, where are you?'_

No, I won't reply she hurt me; she has no right to make me feel fucking sorry, of course she meant it, she always means it. And here they are again, my tears reappear.

I'm sobbing, arms over my eyes... she slapped me for telling the truth, she is a fucking slag, she is a cheat, and I don't ever won't a boyfriend, Suddenly I stop shaking and my eyes shoot open.

Did I come out to my sister? I couldn't have! I don't even know if I'm gay, Oh god I didn't even think about it! Now that's just more things to add to my worried list.

I haven't got time to even try and hide the fact that I've been trying again because Naomi appears around the door smiling holding two cups of tea, she see's my state and her smile fades, she then puts the cups down on her desk.

'Emily' she says quietly probably trying to not make me worse than I already am

'Do you want to tell me what's wrong now'

She then proceeds to rub her fingers across my cheek and I make a wincing painful sound that she doesn't miss.

She looks at me curiously before jumping up and marching towards the door, oh great she probably got scared and decided to just leave me alone. Naomi doesn't fully reach the door and instead stops by the light switch before turning it on, she then turns back around and marches over to me.

Slowly she puts her fingers under my chin before pushes my face fully up to she can get a good view, my eyes shut as they try and adjust to the new light that has entered the room, because of outside and her room being so dark she only just notices Katie's hand print now.

'What the hell...' she says shocked 'your cheek, it's bruised' I just swallow and silently nod at her, never meeting her eyes.

'Emily, who did this to you?' she says bluntly and the most serious I've ever heard her say, I remain silent because what is there to say? I know what she'll think, Emily can't handle her sister when she's shouting at her but she can't handle when she's punching her too.

'Naomi it's nothing, just leave it okay' I don't say it harshly, just quiet enough to barely be heard.

'Emily that's not nothing' she says again while she continues to slowly caress her fingers lightly over the bruised cheek 'tell me' she whispers.

I can't tell her, sure I want to tell her how bad Katie makes me feel, how bad I feel that everything is so fucking shit and it's mostly my fault, but that would make me feel so week so instead of answering her, I say something I've been wondering since she found me in the park.

'Why were you there?' she looks at me confused and I clear my throat 'in the park, at that time... why was you there?'

She looks at me so insecurely before answering 'Emily this isn't about me, don't try and change the-'

'Naomi, please' I interrupt her sentence begging her with my eyes, I really don't want to talk about my night and I think she get's this.

'Oh you know, I was just having a walk' she lying, I know she's lying, nobody usually walks at this hour and she won't look up at me.

'Oh yeah, I've heard about those midnight strolls through the park people usually do' she laughs and nudges me with her shoulder

'Oh Em's are you forgetting where I found you about 20 minutes ago' she continues to laugh at me

'Touché' i reply and then we both start to laugh, I like this... laughing, she always lightens my mood when she opens up like this, still my mind keeps telling me that she's just going to close off soon and demand I get out of her house or something, so I might as well get everything out of this while I can

'So' I say 'why were you in the park?'

She stops laughing slowly and starts to tear apart the corner of her duvet

'Emily I've already told you' she looks up and I smirk at her, she knows I know she's lying.

'Fine' she shouts with amusement

'but you'll think I'm stupid' ha!

Not in a millions years could I ever find her stupid.

'My house is normally packed, I always complain to my mum I hate it, communal living you know?' she looks at me for confirmation to continue and I nod, communal living ah now I get it, the clutter.

'So yesterday, my mum kicks everyone out, and it's fine I get my own free space back, then she tells me she's going to Scotland for 4 days to protest about some fucking farm, and I was still so happy, everyone loves there mum but god she's fucking annoying'

I'm still nodding, I don't really know where this is heading but at least she's actually telling me things.

'So here I was, giant house to myself, it was great I could read without people disturbing me and shower with people fucking walking in on me' oh god naked Naomi, concentrate Emily.

'But now, I don't like it so much. It's lonely'

I know how she feels, god I've felt lonely for 17 years and I've had Katie practically glued to my fucking self.

'I couldn't sleep, feeling so alone...' she breathes in and now she's looking around for anything so she doesn't have to look at me, I know it's hard for her to open up.

'So, I decided to take a walk, you know through a city of actual real living people, look around and actually take in the beauty of a night in dirty Bristol, it kind of helped, nobody wants to feel alone'

She finishes and turns to me probably waiting for me to burst out laughing or for me to tell her how pathetic that sounds, but it doesn't she's so right, so fucking right.

'You're not alone now' I blurt out and mentally slap myself again in the face, and while I'm in this already shameful touchy feely mood, I cover my hand over hers, fuck it might as well.

I'm completely ready for her to swipe her hand away from me as fast as possible and for her to ask what the fuck I think I'm doing.

But then she looks down at our hands and smiles, 'no... No I'm not'

our eyes then lock, divert your fucking eyes Emily, but god no I can't, I look at her lips and back, I'm going kiss her, I'm going kiss her, I'm going- no Emily, stop yourself, you have her trust now you can't just lose it that easy just because you can't keep it in your pants.

'Ka... Katie hit me'

I blurt out, I had to tell her, she just told me something amazing and I needed to tell her what was going on with me.

'What!?' She screams, oh Jesus 'it was Katie? Katie did this to you, that fucking bitch!'

'Naomi...'

'No Emily! Have you seen what she's done?' she takes my arms and pulls me towards the mirror

I close my eyes not wanting to see 'Emily look, please...'

I open my eyes and fuck, I knew it hurt but this, it's already black from the bruise but it's also spread from my cheek bone right across to the side of my nose 'Jesus...' I breathe out.

'You can't blame yourself Emily, go on I beg you to tell me what you done to deserve this'

I turn around and this is it, I tell her everything right up to the bit where I went the toilet, kind of sparing the details of mike.

'and then this guy I wasn't even into thinks I want to have sex with him, right there in some dirty fucking toilet, anyway long story cut short, I pull away, he screams at me calling me a tease and then he's gone'

'Did he hurt you?' she says straight away, she's being protective, and god I love it.

'No, no, well apart from burning my nostrils from his dirty fucking aftershave he didn't try anything'

She lets out a strangled laugh

'What happened then Em?'

'Katie comes in the bathroom, shouting the odds as usual, tells me that everyone is going to think I'm weird because I turned down someone so fit, probably because her twin sister not having a boyfriend makes her looks less popular right?'

I wipe my dry eyes and then let out a shaky breath, it's hard to continue, and telling someone how your sister basically hurt you isn't always easy. I don't know if I can continue this is until Naomi reaches over and pushes my fringe out of my eyes and behind my ear giving me a supportive smile.

'So she keeps going on about it, saying she can't look out for me anymore, I don't need looking after, and I never have! She just thinks I do. So anyway then she pushes me up against the wall' Naomi grabs my hand and squeezes it hard after hearing that.

'She did it because I called her a slut, she cheats on everyone she's with, I was only telling the truth. Then I tell her I just want to see people the way I am, and that maybe I don't want a boyfriend and that-'

Then I realise what I'm about to say and stop, telling her the rest is basically telling her I'm gay and that I can't fucking do, she'll get scared. Katie got scared, but that's only because of her reputation and how people would fucking see her.

'And what Emily...' she says gently, 'you can tell me' she smiles.

Can I? Can I really tell her? Fuck it, whatever, she might not even guess what it means, here goes nothing, then I swallow.

'And erm, that I never want a boyfriend' silence, okay I can handle this, she hasn't run out the door throwing objects yet, that's always a good sign but she also hasn't moved so that's not a good sign either.

'So...' she says, she sounds relatively normal 'that's why she hit you?'

'Yes...'

'Well' she says with that she gets up and starts to put her hundreds of layers back on, she's running away, I fucking knew it.

'Where are you going?!' I get up with her too; if she runs I'm going to give her a fucking good chase.

'Where's the club?'

She says... and I'm completely confused, the club? Why would she want to know where that was? Before I have time to answer she's talking again.

'Is it far from here? Emily, come on where is it?'

'What do you mean, where are you going?'

She's too busy trying to put her coat on before she throws me a jumper and some gloves

'Emily, the bitch can't just fucking hit you and think she's got away with it, I've been on that fucking side of her and she's not getting anymore satisfaction out of this anymore, so I think me and her are just going to have a nice fucking chat'

She's not running away, she's running towards my problems, as if I couldn't fall any harder, here I am falling.

But then my proper brain begins to work, I can't just show up to the club with Naomi, Katie will be wondering why I'm even with her, which no doubt she'll be giving me 100 questions about and then put two and two together and probably work out in her thick brain that I like Naomi, and of course I don't want them to start fighting, I don't want either of them hurt.

But I want Katie to forget the whole gay thing; I don't need this on my back right now.

By time I'm snapped back to the situation Naomi already halfway out of her door.

I run over and push her into the wall, lightly of course because I'm not mike and Katie.

'no please Naomi, it'll only make it worse, I don't want to get you involved and I should stand up to her alone and stop being so a fucking shit scared little bitch'

'No Emily, this already is my problem she can't just do that to people' she points at my cheek

'And she's also been the queen of fucking everything to long and I'm sick of her shit, so this is for me too'

'Naomi...'

'Emily I promise, this won't make it worse' she then reaches out and lightly puts her hand on my neck and smiles, a small friendly gesture that makes me smile back but also wince with pain.

Fucking mike, sucking on my neck like a straw also forgot the mark he left until Naomi touched it.

She watches again and probably thinks Katie's done more, she moves my hair away from my neck and I can also see a hint of jealousy in her eyes, almost because why would she be jealous

'Wow' she says looking away 'he must have had an appetite'

And old Naomi starts to come back, I can just see it now, she's going to turn any second and want me to leave and then go back to stone cold Naomi.

'We better get the club, it's getting late' but she doesn't move and neither do I.

'No Naomi, he just fucking' then I just start blurting everything, I'm going to regret

'I just wanted to forget. I didn't fucking like him, I mean how could I? I could never'

Why the fuck am I telling her this, she doesn't fucking care Emily?

'I mean, fucking I don't know what I'm saying' she then looks up at me and straight into my eyes.

Everything around me fades and I must have lost my mind for what I do next.

I lean in, and kiss her lips gently. Her back still against the wall.

She pulls away immediately with fear in her eyes.

'Sorry' shitshitshitshit

'I don't know why I did that...' I lie and begin to walk back and another tear escapes my eyes

'I should go' oh god what have I done, fucking hell Emily.

But before I get too far she pulls me back, stares at me for a second then leans in capturing my lips so slowly that I cant actually believe this is happening.

I automatically kiss back and oh god this is so much more than I've been thinking about for 4 years, she's gentle which is a nice thing to have after fucking mike, and up close she smells so nice.

We kiss for about 5 minutes and everything is so perfect, this is until she pulls her head back and rests it against the wall, fuck please just be resting.

But no, she then slides her body from in front of me, leaving me a great view of the wall.

She walks over to her bed repeating words I really didn't want to hear 'shit, shit, shit'

We stay in silence while she repeating chants the words quietly only supposedly for herself to hear and I continue to face the wall, staring at the spot where she had just been in.

Five seconds before she turns back around to face me, the door in her bedroom is slammed and I'm gone.

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	7. Chapter 7

**chaper 7!**

I ran, ran and kept running until I found myself under a random abandoned bridge, this is where I stopped and began to cry again, body sprawled over, and hands on my knees, crying until there was just nothing left.

It's just gone past 3am, my phone vibrated numerous times but I just don't care anymore, everything is a complete fucking mess and I only have myself to blame. It's been nearly two hours since I left Naomi's and made probably one of the biggest mistakes in my life. That means I've been sitting here for ages just thinking about my actions, and probably the consequences that are going to come with it. JJ must be worried, I'm hurting him by doing this, and how can I always be so fucking selfish.

You kissed her Emily, you fucking kissed her. How could I do that? I needed someone to trust and be there for me and now I don't have anyone because of my selfish fucking needs. But she didn't have to pull you back and kiss you again; part of my mind was telling me. She kissed me back, she could have just told me to leave after the first kiss, but no, she stopped me and she triggered the second kiss.

Probably just pity, she saw how upset I was and didn't want to make me anymore upset. She's going to be scared of me now, she'll ignore me and act like I don't exist, she's probably scared in case I tell Katie what happens and she'll go out spreading the gay rumours again. Ha, as if I'd ever tell Katie what went down tonight, hasn't she seen what she did to me already.

I breath out the air I've been holding and take a look around, it's really scary down here and definitely not a please that someone would want to be alone, just shows how bad everything is, I didn't even notice where I was running to.

Fuck the vibration against my leg is so annoying, I grab my phone to switch it off and I see the most recent text message is from JJ, I owe him to read it, he's helped me so much with everything and I'm just being a bitch by running off and leaving him with a bunch of twats. I pause before pressing open.

_'Plz Emily, phone me. I'm scared. I can't find you and I need you'_

I made him scared, Jesus, I scroll down the rest of the texts, clearly ignoring Katie's fake sorry texts and see that there's another one from JJ

_'p.s. you can stay at mine, as long as I can wear my cartoon pyjamas x'_

I can't help but giggle at this, so typical JJ, always makes me smile without trying, I knew in that text he was being completely serious too.

I can't stay out here all morning and freeze to death, but I also can't go home and face Katie, actually I never want to see Katie again in my whole fucking life as long as I'm concerned, besides I love staying at JJ's, his mums so nice, doesn't judge unlike my fucking mum, not that I don't love my mum but working in a salon has gone to her head a bit.

I phone him, he's probably a sleep right now, was never good at pulling all nighters was JJ. To my surprise it literally rings one and a half times before he answers

'Emily fuck! It's you, unless someone's got your phone, because I heard mugging is a very high statistic in Bristol'

'no, yes it's Emily' I cough, my throats so dry, I didn't drink Naomi's tea and now the vodka I had been drinking hours before had taken affect 'I'm so fucking sorry JJ, I didn't want you to worry'

'Emily no please its fine, of course I worried you're my best friend, and what Katie did to you was a terrible thing, oh bobbins I wasn't meant to say, Jesus Effy told me'

Of fucking course, everyone probably knows what a fucking punch bag I am, I just need to sleep and wake up tomorrow feeling better about this whole fucking situation.

'Its fine JJ, I just really would like to stay at yours tonight...' I pause 'and you can wear your cartoon pyjamas' I smirk behind the phone.

'Great! Yes of course, I like our sleepovers! But... Emily where are you?'

Jesus I don't even know where I am myself... this is going to take a while.

'Don't worry about that, I'll be over soon, bye JJ.'

***

So after 20 minutes of retracing my steps and another 10 minutes deciding whether I should walk down Naomi's road to get to JJ's or not (I didn't walk down the road) I got to JJ's, he was waiting for me in the kitchen with a hot chocolate and his favourite biscuits, got to love him.

We talked about our nights, well his night, I completely avoided talking about what happened which was good because he didn't bring anything up just yet, but I knew sooner or later I was going to have to tell him what went on after the club.

Apparently after I ran out of the club everything got totally out of hand, Effy started arguing with Katie about what she did, unusual since I'm not even that close with effy, Cook tried to calm them both down which resulted in getting another kick in the balls off Katie, then Katie went around the block looking for me, only to come back disappointed and burst into tears about how she never meant anything she said to me, I laughed at this part and JJ gave me a surprised look, Katie crying might show to them that she cares about me but I don't fucking believe it for a minute.

'and then Freddie and cook started to search for you, couldn't find you though Emily, must say everyone was getting a little worried, maybe I should phone them'

'No JJ! Please... I really appreciate what they did, well apart from Katie but I don't want fuss. I just want to be here with you, have a quiet night.' I smiled at him and he returned it.

'Okay, hmm yes that's fine, I'm a little tired after all the searching anyway, and where did you actually go in the end?'

Okay I could tell him I just sat in the park all night which would be lying to him or I could just share this with him; I really need someone to talk to about this.

'Well... after I left the club I just walked through the park, you know take the long way home and think?' he nods a long

'But then, I bumped into Naomi' he sits up straight now with his arms folded onto the kitchen table, he knows how I feel about her, so he knows how important this must be to me.

'Then, then' I sniff 'she asked me what was wrong, I cried and she held me there, told me she cared, she fucking cared JJ, then she took me back to hers, we talked some more, scared some more truths and then I go and fucking spoil it.

He softly smiles at me and pats my shoulder 'I'm sure you didn't spoil it Emily'

Oh but I did

'I fucking kissed her JJ!' I blurt out maybe a bit too loudly since his mum's in bed and he looks on shocked 'shit sorry' I begin to whisper 'I kissed her, went for it and kissed her'

'Oh god, two girls kissing, you and Naomi kissing oh god, I don't see the problem!'

'She pulled away before we even started, big problem' I put my elbows on the table and rest my hand in my hands 'then she pulled me back and started to kiss me'

'Oh my giddy giddy...' he repeats to himself for a moment, this is a big thing for JJ well probably a big thing for most boys, two girls making out and all, but he knows what this means to me also.

'Then she pulls back again, walks across the room away from me and refuses to look my way'

'Oh Emily, I'm so sorry, what did you do?

'I ran away' I look down at my hands, maybe I should have stayed? Told her it was a heat of the moment type of thing, but no I've made it too obvious how guilty I am by running.

'It's understandable Emily, you were scared... she doesn't know how lucky she is to be kissed by you, I mean not that I want to kiss you, it's just your very nice and-'

'Thanks JJ' I get up, move over to him and kiss his cheek, he blushes, cute.

'Shall we go to your room and sleep now? Besides I've missed seeing your plane models' I wink and he laughs.

I feel about 10% better about everything, but as soon as Monday comes reality is going to bite back.

***

I stayed at JJ's all day Sunday, we got up late, watched TV and just played computer games all day, not that I'm very good at them but it's fun watching JJ get worked up when he says his control has stopped working just because I'm winning.

I phoned my mum to tell her where I was and that I'd be staying again overnight at JJ's, she obviously protested saying that I needed to spend some time at home this weekend because she hadn't seen me, but I just told her I'd be straight home after college on Monday, I even promised to drop by her salon to help her out one time this week, Jesus. That won her across though. I could also hear Katie talking to mum and asking if it was me on the phone, by time mum had time to give the phone to Katie I told her I loved her and put it down, no way was I talking to that bitch.

My bruise still hurt like a bitch, and it looked even worse, but besides that it was healing, I did however look like I'd been jumped but its fine, and bruises don't last.

***

Monday morning, I considered going home, crying to mum about how sick I felt and that I should definitely not attend college today, then I remembered, politics test. Fuck it I hadn't revised, I don't even want to be in that class anymore anyway.

I had two main objectives of the day, completely avoid Katie, and at all costs avoid Naomi, not that she wouldn't be avoiding me so that won't be a difficult task, I didn't have any lessons, only my exam. It was basically a get in and get out job, shouldn't be that hard except Katie has history so she will definitely be in today, oh and fantastic Naomi has the politics exam with me.

Actually getting into the college is the easy part, I take the front steps, I knew before college Naomi smokes by the science block and just stays there for at least 20 minutes, yes I'm a stalker get over it, I have. The exam is definitely the hardest part, same room, only 20 people in the actual exam, of course she's going to see me and I'm going to see her.

Walking through the corridor I try to ignore the attention I'm getting over my face but it's kind of hard when it's a lot of fucking attention, I'm not used to it and I definitely don't like it.

I'm here, there's a couple of people in the exam hall, right Emily, go in, find your seat, sit down, ignore Naomi then get out and go. I quickly glance around looking for my seat but not before I see what's written on the piece of people on the table behind me 'Naomi Campbell'

Of course it's not going to be this easy. Exams go in alphabetical order for where you'll be sitting and since our class doesn't have anyone with last names beginning with D or E its C and F together. Jesus, I can't do this, she's going to be right behind me, and I need to get out, forget this exam I can always retake.

A second before I go to stand up and walk out I'm stopped by the sound of someone coming in late, I face forward not turning around and just stare at the clock, I can't look behind me, I can't.

'Sorry I'm late' she says as if she'd been rushing to get here. 'I just got caught up... thinking'

Thinking, the last part sounded and was said completely different to the rest of the sentence. The hairs on my neck rise, she sits down and removes her pens from her bag and I feel her eyes bore into the back of my head every second that she is doing it.

'Alright then you bunch of slackers, hopefully revision has helped you all!' and with that Kieran winks at me, oh god as if I'm not in a bad enough situation, he fucking winks.

'Five minutes to get yourself a pen and then where starting' he walks away from the front of the hall and straight over to me, leaving everyone to start their conversations again.

'You alright Emily, your face looks a little sore' god thanks Kieran; mention my face whilst Naomi is clearly listening in behind me, Jesus.

'Yeah, fine hurts a bit but fine' I answer really fast, hoping that this conversation will end soon.

'Rightio, well after this you might want to see the nurse, got a right corker there so you have' after that he walks back to the front 'right, start the exam now, no talking or it's over for you'

'Fucking hell' I say rather a bit too loudly, this is going to be fun.

***

2 hours later, and the exams about to come to an end, I can hear Naomi still scribbling away at her paper, I smile because she's probably used up all her lines talking about why some question was a load of shit. I finished my exam near enough a hour ago, I did my best, didn't know what the fuck I was doing but I was too distracted with the way Naomi's foot kept kicking away at my chair, no way I was turning around.

'right, pens down, papers closed, exams over... walk out quietly or don't walk out at all' he warns, I barely hear the last part as I'm out of the hall in a shot, avoiding Naomi and eye contact with her, and heading straight towards to the main door and freedom

I jolt round the corner as fast as I can and knowing my luck I crash straight into someone

'Oh god, Ems!' Katie fucking Katie.

'MOVE' I demand emotionless and push past her, walking at the same speed as I was before but then she grabs me by the wrist

'Emily please, your face, I'm so sorry I didn't mean it you know, just all got out of hand' she does a friendly smile and oh fuck I'm going to punch this bitch.

'Got out of hand?' she nods

'Got fucking out of hand, have you seen this Katie you fucking bitch?!' I push her and her back slams into the lockers.

'Stay away from me' I say quietly and see a flash of hurt in her eyes I'm about to walk away when I see a blonde walk toward us. Oh god no, Naomi and Katie hate each other, plus I haven't spoken to Naomi since our kiss, this is going to be so fucking awkward.

'You alright Emily?' she smiles at me and then faces Katie

'Yeah I'm fine... thanks' I reply looking at Katie still, she's about to start something I know she is.

Katie looks between me and Naomi with disgust, and then faces me acting like Naomi doesn't exist 'Emily, you don't have to answer to that dyke yeah?' she then turns to Naomi 'so stop fucking stalking her!' she shouts.

I'm frozen, I don't know what to do, and I hate Katie right now so I'm not going to defend her, but why is Naomi acting so normal? Naomi starts to laugh, which gets louder and louder and I'm looking at her truly amazed, what could possibly be funny about this situation at all?

'oh katiekins' wrong move Naomi 'I'm not stalking her, I'm just making sure you don't lash out at her again' she smiles smugly at Katie then walks over to me

Katie looks shocked, probably wondering how Naomi knows what happened.

'Em's I was going to ask, we have frees now so want to come round to mine for lunch? I'm surprised, shocked even but Fuck Naomi! Not so scared of me then? But this is the worst timing she could possibly choose, right in front of my fucking sister.

Now it's Katie's turn to laugh, actually it's more than a laugh; it's a fucking roar, pretty sure she's close to tears as well

'Dream on Campbell, why don't you go find yourself a girlfriend that's actually interested in going on dates with you yeah?' she's still laughing, Naomi puts her hand on my shoulder, this is when Katie's laughing stops.

'Get your fucking hands off my sister!' She screams barging towards Naomi; she grabs her by her collar and goes to smack her in the face, that's when I get out of my daze

I quickly push Katie against the locker again and look deeply into her eyes

'Don't you dare fucking touch her'

She looks taken back; bet she never thought Emily could defend someone right?

'What the fuck Emily, do you want this lesbo molestering you on her kitchen table or something?'

All this time Naomi is just standing back watching us, I think she's a little shocked after seeing me push Katie against the locker, she didn't think I was actually going to let Katie hurt her right?

I can't be bothered anymore, I seriously can't, these past few days have been hell and I just want it to end.

'Listen Katie, Naomi's not gay and... Neither am I'

'You sure about that?' she spits at me before she storms away down the hall.

I don't turn around, I can't face Naomi... we're here alone and Katie's just made it more hard to deal with.

'Fucking hellllllllll' I shout before punching the locker with my fists repeatedly, this is until Naomi grabs me from behind and whispers

'Don't Emily, don't hurt yourself'

'I've got to go' I say before grabbing my bag that's on the floor and making my way towards to exit.

'Please come to mine for lunch, no one's there just me, and... I want to talk to you'

A saying from what Naomi said the other night replays in my head _'nobody likes to be lonely'_

'Yeah' I sniff 'maybe just for a bit'

***

We talked about every single subject apart from Saturday night or the kiss whilst walking back to Naomi's, most of it just insisted of how easy Naomi found the exam (or how hard for me) and how the examiner must have been pissed whilst writing most of the questions, we both laughed at this.

We decide to make pancakes for lunch, basically because I'm fucking hopeless at cooking and because Naomi's mum didn't really have anything in apart from baking ingredients, but hey I love pancakes.

We laugh, talk and smile at each other whilst making them, which then turns into a food fight and then back to making.

We decided to wash the equipment before we actually eat the pancakes, just saves time really. Naomi washes and me drying, because frankly no one likes the washing part.

'Thanks for sticking up for me' I look at her confused 'to Katie before in college, you didn't have to'

'Yeah I did Naomi' I smile at her. 'To be honest I think it's about time I grew some balls'

She bursts out laughing and flicks the bubbles of the washing up liquid at me

'No Emily really you don't need balls, then you'd be some kind of she-male' I giggle along with her

'Oh ha-ha Naomi, and when did you become a comedian?'

'Well after I became great at everything else, thought I'd take up comedy you know? She answers in a mocking voice and I nudge her.

'Great at everything? Definitely not, State of these dishes!'

'Fine then! Mock my dishes and I won't give you them to dry' she holds the plate up in the air knowing to well I won't be able to reach it being well, really short.

'Come on midget, get the dish!' oh nobody calls me midget, I push her not meaning to do it hard and she falls over leaving the plate to splash back in the sink and for me to fall on top of her, I quickly roll off and lie near the side of her laughing

'Not so midget now am I hey!' we both continue to mock each other whilst not moving from the floor and then it goes silent.

'Why did you leave Emily' she says so insecure and quiet that I barely hear it, 'you didn't have to go'

I knew we were going to have this conversation sooner or later, might as well be sooner

'Naomi...' I start but she doesn't let me finish

'I was surprised Emily didn't mean to just turn away, it's just-'

I suddenly interrupt her with more things that come blurting out

'You saw my neck and I wanted you to know that he wasn't the one I wanted to be kissing and fuck'

I stop, I'm letting her know too much and this is too embarrassing, I better go before she figures out my undying love for her, not that it isn't written across my fucking face anyway.

She turns over onto the side of her arm and looks at me

'Anyway I better go, I stayed at JJ's last night and my mum really wants me home...' I see how disappointed she looks but I have to go before I do something stupid.

I get up putting the table cloth on the side, I smile and go to say bye but then she pulls me back down to the floor and I fall on top of her.

'Don't go Emily... just' she reaches up and kisses my lips and gently as she did last night. I don't react so it's just her kissing me and me not moving, I'm too scared to react, you seen what she did last time and how disappointed I was.

She notices this and puts her hands behind my neck 'kiss me, Emily' she whispers against my lips and I don't need inviting twice.

I start to kiss back, smooth, gentle, soft everything I want from her, she then enters her tongue into my mouth, I'm quite surprised, never saw her as the type of girl to be so forward. But whatever I gladly accept it.

It feels like we've been kissing forever, this is when she pulls her head back much to my disappointment; she wouldn't do it twice would she?

'Stay for a while' she whispers again, whilst her fingers stroke the fading bruise on my face 'stay, just watch a DVD or something with me, please'

'Yeah' I say kissing her gently on the lips without hesitation 'of course I will'

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	8. Chapter 8

**Don't know about this one... promise the next one will be better :)**

It's nice... sitting here, just being here with Naomi, no words even need to be spoken it's just... nice. Since our little moment on the kitchen floor, nothing else has happened, we did what exactly she asked me to do and we just watched a DVD... then we moved onto some tele, as I said before it's all nice.

Naomi's eyes are currently glued to the screen of the TV while I'm sneakily throwing quick glances at her whilst thinking, we're sitting around like friends do which is good, but what are we actually doing here?

She kissed me, she kissed me this time! She did right? I wasn't so happy that I might have just jumped on her and then blamed it on her? Nope it was definitely her, and now she's sitting here acting so normal around me... as if 2 hours ago we weren't kissing each other's faces off. We haven't spoken about it, I don't even think she wants to, oh god this is so annoying, and I just want to know what it meant to her.

'Why did you kiss me?' I suddenly blurt out and she jumps in shock, oh god I was not meant to say that out loud.

'Sorry I mean, what was that before?' I say, she sits up straight and faces the screen again, not meeting my glaze; she then shuffles awkwardly in her seat.

'Emily' she says as if she doesn't want to break me 'you had a really bad weekend and after the argument you had with Katie at college-' she continues to talk but I drown her out with my own thoughts, is she saying she kissed me because of how down I've been lately?

'Pity' I interrupt her 'you felt sorry for me so you kissed me?' I say quiet but also harsh, fucking pity? What a bitch.

'God no Emily it wasn't like that!' she shouts and moves her body towards me but by time she can reach me I stand up and walk towards the window 'I just thought you could do with someone on your side! Yeah you have JJ but come on! I was trying to be a good friend Emily!'

Okay she seriously just took a stab at JJ, she can't say nothing about JJ he's always there for me and just because I'm completely fucking in love with her definitely doesn't give her an excuse.

'So what? You kiss all your fucking friends when they're having a bad week? People must like you!'

It's kind of harsh I know, but I thought she liked me, she looks furious now

'Why are you being so fucking horrible about this? It's not like I'm gay' she says it fast enough I almost believe she's in denial for a second 'and you're not gay so why do you even care?!'

I'm completely thrown by the next question; how the fuck do I answer that? I could obviously tell her that no I'm not gay, she's just not being a very good friend right now, or I could say yes, I think I am probably gay since I've loved you for years.

Realisation hit's her of the question she's just ask, also of the way I've answered, yes she's probably guessed it right but whatever.

I do the thing Emily Fitch does best, grab my belongings from the couch, throw my bag over my shoulder, throw her a bitchy look even Katie would be proud of and head for the door

'see you round Naomi' I walk proudly towards the front door happy that I've got the last words in for once before I hear a faint 'yeah whatever' bitch.

As I'm walking down Naomi's pathway I'm not upset for once, maybe I needed this to happen, knowing Naomi never has or is never going to like me as more than a friend is what I need I suppose, move on and all, if only it was that easy.

***

'Emily is that you love?' my mum shouts from upstairs as I slam the front door and kick off my shoes.

'Yeah' I reply briefly, whilst walking through the living room to the kitchen and straight to the fridge, god I'm thirsty.

'You said you'd be home an hour ago' she says as she enters the kitchen pulling the orange juice carton off me and pours it into a glass.

'Yeah sorry, got caught up at college you know?' I say while putting the glass down and I go to head for the stairs, Katie should still be at college since she had a full day and I never, and then hopefully she goes round to Danny's after school, anything to prolong talking to her again.

She then takes in the full sight of my face and almost runs towards me knocking me over 'Emily dear! What is this?' she says pulling my face at the side of my head to try and get a clear look at the clearly visible bruise 'who did this; I want to know this instant!'

I push her arms off lightly and give her a smile 'mum it's fine, I just... slipped Friday night, its getting better' I show her my face one more time 'see?' I grin at her and she returns it. 'As long as you're fine then... I just worry about your girls that's all'

She smiles, my mum's nice, I love her but still I know she wants something.

'Well I'm just going to you know' I say pointing towards the stairs before she stops me by gently capturing my arm. 'Listen Emily, Katie's up there... she's really upset, won't tell me why, look after her please' she gives me a sympathetic smile.

I give her a small nod then carry on up the stairs, fuck Katie's in, fuckfuckfuck and upset ha! Probably found Danny cheating on her, not that she doesn't deserve it anyway.

Walking into my room I prepare myself for fake tears, love songs and Katie inhaling unbelievable amounts of ice-cream, but what I didn't prepare for was to walk into our room with her curled up in a tiny ball on her bed, shaking erratically and crying away her sorrows. Fuck I've never seen her like this before.

'Katie...' I say quietly approaching her, she starts to twitch violently 'Katie please, don't'

I sit on her bed smoothly my hands up and down her back; she's really cut up, tears streaming down her face, eyes puffy and red raw.

'I'm such a fucking bitch' she doesn't turn around 'I should of left you alone, I'm such a fucking bitch'

I should comfort her and tell her that she isn't but 'yeah you really are' she stops shaking, everything goes silent and we both burst out laughing.

'So this is why you're crying, because you're a terrible sister? I walk over to my bed and sit down 'because yes maybe you deserve to cry' I hear her sniff and she sits up on her bed

She wipes her eyes, with now proceeding eyeliner down her face 'Emily really I didn't mean it, I don't even have an excuse for what I've done' she sniffs again 'I mean we've had worse arguments than that right? I just lashed out; I must have a fucking problem'

'Well... I did call you a slut' I say slightly bemused and then lie my back down on the bed facing the ceiling, I start to talk serious then 'Katie, that guy tried to have sex with me when I didn't want to... do you know how it made me feel when you more or less took his side?'

'I'm sorry Em, I didn't know that he-'

'I'm not your rag doll Katie, you can't just tell me what to do and expect me to do it anymore, things change'

'I know Emily, I was trying to help, really it might not seem like but I was'

It's probably true, in Katie Fitches fucked up little world the best thing you can do for your 'straight' sister is to find her a boyfriend.

'You're forgiven' she quickly sits up and looks at me confused then she breaks out into a smile

'Just, stop treating me like shit and give me some fucking respect or I swear I'll never talk to you again' she hugs me so tight I can't actually breathe!

'Done, done and fucking done! God I missed not talking to your sissy' we smile at each other then we both lie back down side by side, and it goes silent.

'Where were you all this afternoon?' she asks quietly. Shit

'JJ's' I cough 'I was at JJ's'

***

I just want things to go back to normal now, it's been 4 days since I last saw Naomi, yeah she's been at school but we've been ignoring each other like a bad smell, politics has gone back to like it was before with Naomi answering all the questions and me trying to catch up with Kieran, Everything's like it used to be except Katie is a hell of a lot nicer to me, Naomi and I don't acknowledge each other in lessons and this is the way things are meant to be. I'm sure of it.

Ah I'm seriously late for philosophy but my fucking locker is such a mess I don't know how it can even hold that many things anymore. I'm alone in the halls again; I swear I hate these halls, way too big for anyone's good.

'Hi Emily' huh? Familiar but not too sure.

What the actual fuck

'Mike?!' Yes mike, club mike! Right in front of me now, he looks different, sober but fucking hell whys he here?

'So what you just stalk me into my college, Jesus I'm going to philosophy before you try to grope me again' the serious weirdo, I'm left alone in the halls with him!

'What? Not Emily I go to round view...' I thought he was like 25.

'Well weird that I've never seen you round before, anyway what do you want' I try to sound uninterested but to be honest I want to hear what he's got to say.

'Probably because I'm in the year above' he smiles but it doesn't reach his eyes 'and I just want to apologise for the other night, that's not me, my friend gave me drugs and-'

'God, save it mike... you're like every other guy out there obviously' I state

'Oh and if I was would I be apologising or would have I just of left it?'

He has a point, He's talking different and he acts it, god the affects drugs can seriously have on a person, anyway since I'm all about forgiveness this week I'll give it a shot.

'Hmm okay... how did you even find me?'

'Well first I went over to your twin, thinking it was you she told me to piss off or she'd cut my balls off' I burst out laughing, that's just typical Katie

'Kind of scared me' he's laughing as well

We're too busy laughing to even notice the scowling blonde standing right in front of us, I open my eyes to see her and suddenly stop laughing, and mike follows.

'Josie wants to know where you are, sent me to look for you, so if you're not too busy' she remains there and doesn't move looking between us

'Shit yeah sorry, Naomi, Mike, Mike, Naomi' I smile completely forgetting that I told everything about him to her on Saturday night. Jesus I haven't even spoken to her for fucking days.

'Nice to meet you Nao-'

'Club mike?' she says to me and mike starts laughing, he knows I've probably told her

I elbow him in the stomach lightly which makes him make a wincing sound, she then looks back between us and sends me a death stare

'When you're finished Emily, I'm not your fucking slave' Jesus who gave her the entire attitude.

She just turns around and makes her way back to where she came from without another word.

'Well... see you around pervert' I smile at Mike whilst walking away, he laughs and walks the opposite directly, so not looking forward to this lesson, I haven't got my book and it has everyone in, including Katie and Naomi, Jesus.

***

'Emily ah! You're...' Josie looks at her very colour rainbow watch and then points her eyes back at me '22 minutes late'

'Yeah sorry, couldn't find my book' Naomi scoffs at this and I throw her a what's up your ass look.

'fine, don't want to fail your exams, find a seat Emily' looking around I go to walk to my usual seat next to JJ when I notice a random girl sitting there, what the fuck, JJ just blushes and sends me an apologetic look, ah he likes her! Have to tease him about that later.

I can either sit right up the front alone, or you guessed it next to Naomi, the person she normally sits by mustn't be in today, whatever.

I walk over to her and take a seat, noticing the way Katie basically warns me with her eyes to stay away, but then she remembers our little respect my choice convo and she lets it go, and I don't miss the way Naomi pushes her chair away from me a little, I want to say something to her but it's hard to get a word in edgeways when Josie is in one of her fucking lectures, so I do the next best thing. Pulling out a piece of paper from my bag a scribble a sentence

'What's up with you?' and pass it over to her.

Without looking up or even at me she replies pushing the paper coldly towards me

'Nothing' simple, black ink

'You sure about that?' I pass back

She just scrunches that one up in her hand without a care in the world, so I get another piece out and try again

'Come to lunch with me?' this has to make her show a tiny bit of emotional at all.

I pass it.

She goes to scrunch it up again but she must actually catch the words on it, she turns towards me and I do my best sad eyes at her, I can tell she's thinking about it from the way her eyebrows are raised and then she whispers 'fine'

***

End of lesson, everyone's packing up and Katie's making her way over to me, probably to ask what we're doing for dinner or some shit, but she's got the rest of them, she'll be fine. Naomi's still putting her stuff away, Jesus she's so slow.

'Come on Em, I'm ready...'

'Actually Katie, I was going to get lunch with Naomi'

first she looks at me as if I'm fucking mad, but then she lightens her face and says 'okay, but if you need anything, anything at all call me yeah?' loud enough for Naomi to hear, god what does she thinks' going to happen?

And with that she walks out the class snarling Naomi.

'Jesus, fucking hell Naomi, we could have ate twice by time you actually pack your books away'

She looks up from her desk and I'm leaning against the wall by the door, she retorts with a lot of heavy sarcasm 'oh right, well you better go catch up with mike, maybe he'll actually buy your lunch for your while you're there'

'If I wanted to go to lunch with Mike, I would have asked mike wouldn't I?'

***

We're sitting outside college on the benches, it's a nice day so what's the point being in some canteen? I'm eating, she isn't she's just chain smoking.

'Want one?' she shoves the ciggie packet in my face and I shake my head 'No thanks'

'I don't smoke' she chokes on her smoke and then starts laughing, god psychotic.

'What?' I say a little defensive, she's just laughing at me for nothing.

'You're complete opposites!' she says kind as if she's high

'Come on Naomi, what the hell are you talking about?'

'You and Katie of course!' oh yeah.

'Of course' I sign.

'She smokes, you don't'

I nod

'She's a bitch, you're moderately friendly'

I nudge her while she laughs

'And...'

'She's straight and you're gay'

Silence, oh god, what's just happened? Denydenydeny.

'What are you talking about Naomi?' the heartbeat is going 20 times fast than it should and i feel myself breathing heavily, this can't be happening, this just can't be.

How can she just say that? I'm not, oh god emily you are, if you can't accept it yourself how can you expect others too, she see's me panic.

'Get over it Emily, I have' she simply says.

'So are you actually going to buy me anything to eat or do i have to eat nicotine all day?' she carries on and smile.

oh god.

**review? :)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for the reviews everyone, I love reading them :)**

After everything was out (literally) she continued to act completely normal, we finished our lunches and said our goodbyes before our next lessons, but for me I wasn't headed to my next lesson, I was running straight towards the toilets because right now it felt like my whole body was burning and about to explode.

Running through the halls I didn't care who I knocked over or who was looking at me as if I was possessed, something really personal to me that I've been keeping to myself for most of my life, well apart from JJ, has just been exposed as if it didn't even matter by the one person I truly didn't want to ever find out.

'_Get over it Emily, I have'_ what does that even mean, she said she's over it, probably meaning that there has been a time since we last kissed which I'm guessing that's the same time she worked this out that she was on edge about it? Oh I don't know.

Part of me is jumping for joy, she didn't care, which is all I could ever really ask for from a person, but part of me is screaming that all those friendly glances, all those friendly smiles and laughs we've had she'll think there's been more to it and possibly get scared.

I burst into the girl's toilet and straight over the sinks, surprisingly it's empty in here, there's usually one or two wasters smoking away in the back stalls but not today I suppose. I switch on the cold tap and watch how it splashes on my hand for a second before cupping the water and splashing it on my face.

'_pull yourself together Emily'_ I say to myself whilst looking in the mirror ahead of me, before I have time to say anything else I hear the door of the toilets creak open and I watch out of the corner of my eyes while a tall brunette takes the sink next to me.

'Hey Emily... alright?' she says motioning her eyes towards the tap which I've left running.

Effy, we're not really that close, if close at all. She's a nice girl who probably has more issues than the entire college population put together but she doesn't let it go to her head. She also has more than enough people chasing after her to have a pick from anyone she wants, not that she just wants one person of course, ask cook and Freddie.

'Yeah eff, I'm good just you know... bit overwhelmed' I say whilst turning the tab off leaving the entire room in a dry awkward silence.

She smiles and nods, she then turns towards the mirror and starts to apply even more terrifying dark eyeliner to her eyes 'happens to the best of us' she says still looking in the mirror.

'Yeah' I say coming out rather husky.

'So didn't catch you at dinner today'

'Yeah, well Naomi doesn't eat, spent most of my time outside watching her demolish a ciggie packet' I giggle at the memory, seriously never seen anyone smoke like her, and my sister is a fucking champion when it comes to stuff like that.

With a smile still on my lips I turn back to Effy and she's stopped applying makeup and she's now staring straight at me. This girl kind of scares me, she's not really talkative but she knows what's going on.

'ah, the unsocial able Naomi Campbell' I frown at this, she doesn't know her, heck I don't even fucking know her but still, I never thought Effy was the type of person to judge someone, she's not actually the most social able person out there

I go to say something back to her but then I notice she's already facing away again with some new make item in her hand, there's actually no point in this conversation at all so I pack up my things and head for the door

'Cya later Eff'

'She likes you too you know' huh?

'Huh?' I say walking back towards her because thinking it just isn't enough.

'Naomi, she's well into you' facing the mirror she looks at me in it and throws a wink my way.

Fucking hell when did my Naomi situation become everybody's fucking news, I bet JJ told her, when I see him next I swear I'll fucking kill him

'Come on Emily, don't look so shocked' she starts and then turns around putting her arms behind her back leaning against the sink 'since day one at this college she's pushed away anyone that's tried to be remotely nice to her' she shrugs 'then here you are, and she starts to crack a smile once in a while'

If I wasn't so remotely shocked right now I think my brain would be telling me that she has a point, nobody makes Naomi laugh, I've never seen anybody else even make her smile, that's my thing.

'she doesn't feel that way Eff' I shrug my shoulders defeat clearly written all over my body, I'm not even going to try and deny the gay thing to Effy, she see's straight through me which is sometimes the worst fucking thing in the world.

'Doesn't take a genius to work it out'

'Effy please don't tell any-'

'To work what out bitches' Katie comes strolling into the bathroom and fucking hell she's even got sunglasses on today, hello we're in a building.

'uhm' nothing I come up with nothing, oh god she's going to tell her, Katie's going to go mad probably disown me then fucking punch Naomi in the face.

'Oh nothing, I was just telling Emily that it doesn't take a genius to work out that...'

Here it goes, should I put my hands over my ears and start to scream now, or maybe later when Katie burns Naomi on the stake?

'... That JJ likes that new girl in our philosophy classes' Jesus, fucking hell nice save Iffy.

My eyes quickly scan Effys face and while Katie turns away she sends me a quick wink and a tap on the nose, Jesus I'm guessing those signals mean it's our little secret? Wish I knew that when mike did them.

'yeah well duh that's like well obviously yeah' she then walks over to the mirror and starts running her hands through her hair, 'he did spend the full lesson staring at her tits, I'd warn him about that Ems'

'Well Katie, he's probably just a bit _overwhelmed_' Effy smirks at me, that fucking bitch is teasing me!

I choke and start to have a fitting cough, god it's so awkward being in here right now.

'You alright Ems?'

'Yeah fine' I squeak out barely being able to breathe.

She smiles in the mirror then turns around fully

'We should set them up!' Katie says whilst clapping her hands together in happiness, she loves setting people up, I should know she's tried to do it with me a lot.

'Yeah she probably likes him lots too, just too scared to _admit_ there feeling' Effy aims that again at me with a smirk.

Elizabeth stonem you're so going to fucking pay for this.

***

3 days since my little heart to heart with Effy in the ladies, and now I can't even be seen having a friendly quick chat in the halls with Naomi without Effy walking past and winking at us. Kind of funny actually because Naomi always thought she was weird before, now she thinks she's a fucking psycho.

I'm with JJ in the canteen whilst he's currently looking over at the new girl on about 4 tables away from us, by now I've learned that her names Lara, she's welsh and she also likes the colour blue. Don't ask me how JJ found all those things out without actually asking her, he's a genius like that.

'God look at her, she's like a angel, no because people don't think they exist and oh god she definitely exists' I've had at least one full hour about how Lara's hair reminds him of a corn field in all its beauty... suppose I can't complain although I've never described Naomi as a corn field.

'Oh JJ just go and ask her out' I say a little bored to him while playing around with my chips on the plate, I suppose I should be nicer about it, he's never had a girlfriend and this is a big thing for him.

'Listen, you're great JJ, I don't see why anyone would say no to you' I put my hand on his shoulder and smile at him.

'Thanks Emily, but I'm a loon, a complete basket case, she has all the reasons in the world to say no' he looks down at his hands, god I hate seeing him like this.

'Right, get up now' I say a little forceful but playful enough for him to get it 'go ask her out right now, I won't take no for an answer'

He laughs at this 'fine, but if I'm rejected I'm going to tell my psychiatrist about you' he warns.

'I look forward to it!' I shout at him as he makes his way over to her table.

I watch him as he goes over and taps her on the shoulder, he's right she's pretty.

Still watching 10 minutes later and he's managed to actually sit down next to her, well done him. He's making her laugh though, have to admit when I first saw him pull his cards out I wanted to scream stop at him and burn them, but they seem to be working on her, everyone's different right.

I find my lips curling into a smile from just watching them.

'What you smiling at?' Naomi appears next to me, looking in my opinion amazingly beautiful today.

I nod my head over at JJ and she smiles at me

'Oh, I see' she says.

'Yeah he's liked her for ages, seems to be working too, looks like they're having fun' I turn my head to look at them again and it looks like he's getting her number, fucking hell he works fast.

'Weird' she says 'I always thought he liked you' she smirks at me and jabs me in the shoulder and I snarl her.

'But I suppose you're off limits to him' oh gay joke, classy Naomi.

'Careful Naomi, my sisters only a couple of tables away and I don't think she heard you' I say sarcastically whilst smiling at her.

She puts on a dumb face 'oh maybe I should go over so she can hear better... oh katiekins' she jokes, as if she would anyway... Katie would either kick the shit out of her or Naomi out of Katie could never really tell which one was the scariest.

'Just sit the fuck down Naomi' I move my bag allowing her to take the seat and she takes it.

'Remember how I said my mum was going to protest against the clinic?'

I nod as I take a sip of my drink, of course I remember the day that we totally began bonding and she shut me down completely, how could I forget?

'Well this Saturday, she's doing a protest, hundreds of people, you should come' she's playing with her hands, is somebody nervous.

'... oh and bring your friend JJ of course, seeing as he uses there facilities' not a date Emily.

'Of course wouldn't miss it for the world' I joke and she steals one of my chips

'I know you wouldn't' she winks, fucking winks, doesn't she know what she's doing to me, she then grabs my mobile off the table and begins tapping at the numbers, her phone goes off and then she looks back at me and smiles.

'You now have my number and I have yours so... I'll phone you the time and place you know...'

'Yeah great' I smile at her and she returns it, our glazes lock for a moment before we're rudely interrupted again.

'Emily, party at our house tonight yeah' party what?

'Katie, it's a week day' oh god I'm aware of much of a loser I actually sounded like then.

'Enter into the spirit em's, mum and dad are out till the morning and James is with them so why not?'

'Fucking hell Katie' I start but then again she does have a point, but I don't want sweaty men floating around my own house, and pissing in our fucking shower.

She then shifts her eyes to Naomi 'suppose you can come to, as long as you don't try and touch my tits when I'm drunk' I can feel Naomi tense up and she's about to leave her seat to probably punch Katie but I push down on her arm.

'Leave it Katie' I warn her and she smiles at me 'whatever, see you later Emily' and with that she's gone.

'She's such a fucking bitch, I was two seconds away from punching her' I couldn't agree with her more, but Katie's really been trying lately and I kind of respect that especially coming from her.

'Come tonight' I say because I really need someone there who I actually know.

She laughs 'as if Emily! Thanks but no thanks'

'please Naomi, we don't even have to go near her, just fucking get a bottle of some shit then we can sit in my room all night' I beg

'Emily...'

'Come on, I don't want to be in a house of drunk men alone all night do I?'

She doesn't answer first, but then I do my sad eyes again and she puffs out some air 'fine!'

Yes!

'But if Katie even says one thing to me I won't be responsible for my actions'

'Deal' I smile.

***

We walk to mine straight after school; she's never been here before this will be new. Katie's already got a whole lot of alcohol in, god how long has she had this planned? So we steal some vodka bottles and head up to my room.

'Nice room' she comments whilst walking around, she then points to Katie's side 'so this is definitely your side of the room then?' I laugh and push her onto Katie's bed.

'Yes definitely, the more naked men posters the better' she laughs and throws a pillow at me 'oh by the way Katie won't be happy when she finds out you messed up the covers on her bed' I tease.

Oh this is definitely going to be a fucking good night.

***

4 hours later, 17 shared shots later and a lot of fucking laughing, the house is completely booming. Well me and Naomi are still in my room completely pissed and we haven't been down but by god it's really loud, there must be a lot of people too since they keep coming in my room asking where the pisser is. Where lying on my floor top to tail passing the vodka bottle between us.

'you have red hair' Naomi began giggling, I love her that tiny bit more when she's drink, even though that sounded like something a rapist would say.

'It is? I never noticed' she laughed harder and begins to roll on her side

'Emzy, all the vodkas gone' she held it in the air and it was empty, I then rolled around to get another bottle but all that was left was empty ones.

'There all gone' I said in a drunken upset voice

'Aww'

'Wanna go downstairs and get some more?' I know she doesn't want go anywhere near Katie but we need more alcohol!

'Obviously!' she shouts and we both break into laughter

***

When Katie said party I did expect a lot of people but fucking hell this is insane! Girls, boys and I wouldn't be surprised if Katie's snuck some elderly people in too, I do know one thing though, and dads not going to be happen when he sees that his gym of the year certificate is now on the floor smashed to pieces.

Hand in hand I push Naomi through all the people in the living room whilst making our way to the kitchen, but then I stopped when I noticed JJ sat in the corner alone.

'JJ' I shout over the music and I get his attention

'What are you doing?'

'I came with cook, I couldn't find you so I got scared and oh god Emily so many people!' I have to get him out of here, I know what JJ gets like when he's crowded full of people.

'I have to take him outside' Naomi gives me a sympathetic nod 'will you be alright for a minute' she nods again and tells me to go.

***

After taking JJ outside and reassuring him everything was going to be okay I make my way back in to Naomi but I seriously can't find her anywhere. I see Katie near to shagging a random man in the corner, and Freddie smoking weed on the kitchen table, then I see a random grubby man rubbing up some blonde on the couch but where the fucks Naomi.

Wait, the blonde is Naomi and she's completely out of it. My heart sinks a bit.

I make my way over to them before he fucking has time to actually get his hand all the way up her fucking thigh, I know she doesn't want this, oh god I hope she doesn't want this, she's just extremely drink right?

'sorry I just need to speak to my friend for a minute' I grab her arm and yank her off the couch, the pervert makes a angry sound before winking at Naomi, fucking sick. She giggles back, even sicker.

I push her out the living room and into the hall way where it's a bit quieter and hardly has any people in.

'Emsy what 'ya doing?' she stutters at me, god how much has she had since I went, she wasn't this bad before.

'Nai, you're completely drunk and he's trying to hit on you' I say without jealousy in my voice at all, I actually feel like a concerned friend right now.

'Nooo, am fine see' she smiles at me but then she falls back into the wall, Jesus Christ.

'No, you're out of it... I was just getting you away from him' I say with more concern in my voice.

'Fucking hell Emily, I don't need mothering were just talking okay?' she spits harshly at me she must see my reaction to what she said and her facial expression softens 'listen, just go get more yeah? And we'll go back upstairs like we planned' she smiles at me.

'Okay fine, but wait here' I say and walk away. I hear a faint 'I will'

***

Have to praise Katie for something, she has got the best stuff in tonight, and I feel privileged to even be stealing it off her, but whatever fuck it... my heads currently in the fringe trying to reach to the very back but with me not being tall enough it's a bit of a challenge.

'Fucking hell Em's, I take back what I said about Campbell, turns out she might not be a dyke after all' Katie's shouts through the kitchen and I turn around.

'what you on about kat-' before I even finish the sentence I follow her eyes and there she is, love of my life, Naomi Campbell completely face fucking that dirty fucking perve, tongues and everything... I can even hear little fucking moans coming off her as he scrapes his dirty little fucking hands up and down her legs.

'Anyway going to ask that fit lad for his number'

I hardly hear Katie because I'm so fucking destroyed right now it's unreal, my eyes are still on them as she rips right through my fucking heart with her actions, but well done fucking them for not even stopping for air once.

I should really go over, tell him she's fucking mine then ram my foot into his tiny fucking balls, but I don't even know if she's worth fighting for anymore, worse thing is I'm stood like a complete saddo in my back kitchen, vodka clutched in hand and tears running down my face, I do the only thing my legs can do and run back up to my room.

***

Stomping my way back to my room I don't give a fuck what people think as I push through them to reach the top of the stairs, I'm so fucking upset and angry right now.

I open my room door and I'm not alone, here in there is Effy, my side of the room looking at the pictures on the wall, she knows I'm in here, but she's just mysterious like that right.

'Cute' she says pointing to a baby picture of me and Katie, she walks closer to me and rubs her thump over my cheek collecting the tears.

'Maybe she's not worth it' she simply says. Not worth it, is she fucking joking? 4 years is worth nothing for this shit.

'Even you said she liked me' I say sniffling from the tears 'I just thought that maybe, maybe... god I'm so in love with her eff' I sit down on my bed and Effy follows me.

'I'm such a loser, maybe I should just do what Katie says, get a boyfriend and just forget about anything fucking else'

'Emily 'she says quietly 'your lives not over you know? How do you even know you love her?'

I think about that for a second because I've never been asked that before, I don't really even know why I do love her, I just know that I fucking do and it's breaking me apart inside right now.

She turns her head and shuffles closer to me, and then she puts her hand on my knee.

'There might be other girls you want to try first, have you ever even been with a girl yet?'

I shake my head, it's true I haven't, I just want Naomi.

Her hand suddenly goes higher until it's at the top of my thigh and I quickly turn my head to her whilst still sniffing in my tears. She then leans forward and presses a ghostly kiss on my lips, when she see's I'm not too frightened, she goes in for another one leaving this one lasting longer.

'Eff don't...'

'She's downstairs right now, not giving a care in the world about you, with some other guy...'

Fuck it that sends me over the edge, I grab the collar of her leather jacket and pull her back in for a kiss, she deepens it almost immediately, Jesus this is my second kiss with a girl, but this is different, Naomi's soft and Effy's more frantic, I don't know if I like it yet.

The kiss is quick and completely everywhere, and before I know it she's throwing me back onto my bed and climbing on top of me, adding tongue to our kiss.

Breaking from the kiss leaving me breathless she then straddles me with her hips and takes her top off right in front of me, oh Jesus, no way can't she be doing this. She then reaches down and asks permission with her eyes for my top to come off

_Naomi's soft moans against that pigs mouth, his hands scraping up her legs._

With that thought in mind I lift my back so she can take it off; she then heads back in for the kiss whilst caressing her hands along the sides of my stomach.

The door bursts open and the noise from the party suddenly hurts my ears.

'Emily I'm sorry about downstai-'

You know those situations where you really just wish you would have locked the door, yes?

Well this is one of those now.

Our kiss breaks apart and I push Effy off me so now she's lying topless next to me on my bed.

In front of us is a wide eyed Naomi, I hear a crash and the bottle of vodka she had clutched in her hand has hit the floor, the rooms silent and I'm left with a half naked Effy next to me and Naomi's hurt eyes looking between us.

Turns out this isn't going to be the best night fucking ever.

**Thanks for reading.**

**review?**


	10. Chapter 10

**My 10th chapter already, jesus! thanks for reading and reviewing people :)**

I haven't moved, I can't move, neither has Naomi, our eyes are currently locked onto each other's and from what I can see tears are starting to form in her eyes. I feel really guilty, really really fucking guilty. Part of my mind is still telling me that not but five minutes ago she was basically fucking some other lad on the couch and I have nothing to feel guilty about, but why do I?

While we continue to stare at each other, Effy is already up and reaching down for the regarded t-shirt, she slips it over her head, and then rearranges her hair with her fingers; before she goes, she crawls back onto the bed without me actually noticing and whispers in my ear

'Go on, tell me she not interested in you now' she then leans back and kisses my cheek right in front of Naomi.

'Maybe we can finish off later' she says purposely possibly to get Naomi even angrier then winks at her 'later Naomi' she smiles at her before strolling out of the room and closing the door leaving me to deal with this situation at all

As soon as the door slams my eyes fall to the floor, even though I've technically not done anything wrong I still can't face her, she looks so fucking hurt right now; I'm waiting for her to say the first words. Let's bear in mind I'm still sitting here without my t-shirt on.

I hear her take a sharp intake of breath and my eyes snap up to reach her tear soaked ones.

Before I have time to get up and comfort her she's turned around, out the door and running down the stairs, pushing and throwing people out the way to get to the front door.

'Naomi wait!' I shout as I grab my t-shirt and clumsily throw it on then I follow her down the stairs, she doesn't listen, or she just can't hear, Jesus the music is so fucking loud she just speeds out of the front door unnoticed by anyone else, must of been in a rush since she left her jacket in my room.

I can't get past everyone, oh god I just need to get to her to ask what's going on

'Excuse me, can I just, can everybody just get the fuck out of the way!'

Finally running outside, Naomi staggering down the street, she's on the phone and barely keeping herself up, she looks so fucking lost, I hate it so much but she does look rather cute right now, no Emily stop, you're mad at her!

'Naomi...' I say softly when approaching her, she stops at the end of my road and folds her arms around herself.

'Fuck off Emily' she says without even looking at me, what the fucks her problem? It's not like I've just broke her fucking heart by kissing a random man in front of a house full of people including my sister.

I reach for her hand but she just pushes me away and snakes her arms around herself tighter, she then wipes her eyes with her hand and starts to look down the road.

'Look I'm sorry, I didn't know someone was just going to walk in' not really what I wanted to say but there's nothing else I can say, I can't exactly apologise for Effy kissing me, and why would she care anyway? She's not interested in me.

She turns back around and laughs in my face; she then scans her eyes over my body with disgust

'God I was so wrong, you and Katie...' she says whilst waving her hands over me, still laughing spitefully 'you're the same... both fucking bitches; you're just the quieter one'

I won't let anyone, not even Naomi fucking Campbell tells me that I'm fucking the same as her.

'What the fuck is your problem?' fuck her, the past couple of weeks have been a complete joke because of her bi fucking polar ways, and I'm not putting up with it anymore.

She looks at me as if she's about to reply with another one of her famous fucking remarks but I cut her off.

'No you fucking listen to me, I've been nothing but nice to you for weeks and I can't put up with it anymore, one minute where friends and the next minute you're a complete bitch'

'Fuck off Emily; I don't do fucking friends'

'No! I know you don't, of course! So why don't you get back to your 'friend' so he can go and fuck you on my couch' and with that I turn around and begin to walk back to my house, I don't wait for her reaction, I don't even want to see it.

Two steps later I'm pushed to the ground with Naomi standing over me shaking with range

'Why did you go the same college as me?' she screams down at me then runs her hands through her hair. What's she going on about?

'I thought when we left school it would end' she stutters whilst tears start to crawl down her cheeks again 'I just... I just, I'd never see you again and I'd be fine and' she stutters again before rubbing her hands across her face and breathing in.

Before I have time to ask her what the fuck she means a car pulls at the side of us and beeps, she must have been phoning a taxi before. She looks down at me before grabbing my hand and pulling me up.

'I've got to go, I'm sure Effy will keep you company tonight' she says sadly, I need to ask her what she meant; it would all end when we both left? By time I'm snapped out of my thoughts, the taxis doors slammed shut and Naomi is gone.

***

I don't know what's just happened, I'm just so tired, sprawled out on my couch with a bunch of random people I'm drowning my sorrows in even more vodka, I fucking hate Effy right now, I hate Naomi too, but mostly I just hate myself.

'Emily why are you sitting here getting pissed alone like a loser...' I'm actually pretty happy to just hear Katie's voice right now, I look up from the bottle and she's smiling at me, no hint of nastiness, just pure love and amusement.

'Because I am a loser Katie' I smile at her sadly and she takes a seat next to me, grabbing the bottle out of my hands and putting it on the floor.

'Okay so, you don't dress the best' she smirks and I slap her arm

'Ouch bitch' she laughs. 'And you certainly don't chose the best people to be friends with'

Ha friends? Like Naomi said, we were never friends, just two pathetic lonely people that tried to be there for each other but miserably failed.

'Seriously Em's I don't know why you want to be mates with her, total fashion disaster and probably ogles you with her eyes when you bend over' I puff out a bored tired breath because I don't know how many times Katie has said shit like that

'... but, there must be something good about her if you want to be mates with her yeah, so maybe I might start to try and be a bit nicer towards the bitch'

I smile sadly at her because it's not Katie's fault that she doesn't know everything has went totally fucking wrong.

'Where is the lesbian anyway? Might be nice enough to even bring her a drink' she says looking around the room.

'She went home'

'Oh, I thought she would have went back up to our room, especially after that guy'

After the guy? What don't I know?

'What do you mean after that guy?'

'They looked totally into each other yeah, and then she pushes him off her calling him a fucking dirty twat, the next thing I know she's asking me where you are, and then she disappears upstairs'

I try and sniffle a laugh but it comes out, I'm just happy she called him a dirty fucking twat, but I'm sad about the last part, that's when she found me with Effy.

'Anyway bitch, got to love ya and leave ya, fit guy 10 o'clock' she throws a wink my way and I laugh again, oh god I love her.

'I love you Katie' I smile at her and she returns it 'love you too Emily'

***

Cleaning vodka off my floor at 10pm isn't exactly what I'd like to call a good night, but if Katie comes in the room to find smashed glass everywhere I think our sisterly love would be cut short, I'm on my hands and knees moving around the carpet trying to be careful to not pierce myself with the glass when I notice something on the chair, it's Naomi's jacket.

I put the cloth down and dry my hands on the side of my jeans... her jacket, her style, just still a piece of her in my room.

I have to see her, I need to go and see her right now, and it's not too late right? Besides I have her jacket, what a perfect excuse.

***

I remember the last time I was standing outside this beautiful yellow house, I wasn't exactly my best then and I'm not my best now but this has to be done, I'm still confused about Naomi's rambling after she pushed me over, fuck I'm still confused to why she actually pushed me over.

'Hey love' someone answered the door cheerfully and just from that alone I knew it wasn't Naomi, it was definitely her mum, same blue eyes, same hair colour, Jesus.

'Hey, erm sorry it's late I know' god nervous Emily calm down, her mum smiled.

'It's just... Naomi left this' I point to her jacket and I suppose I could just tell her mum to give her it then go home but no, I need to see her. '... and I just really want to see her' I blurt out and she grins even wider

'I mean can I see her please' Jesus I'm blushing, I can just feel it creeping on my face.

Her smile goes even warmer, oh god I love her mum already. 'Sure love, come on in'

She opens the door wider and motions me with her hands to step inside I smile at her 'thanks Miss Campbell'

'No none of that business' she says and I look at her confused

'It's Gina, love and you are?' oh I see, Jesus is this really Naomi's mum?

'Emily' I say and she looks at me for a moment before pointing at the stairs, 'she's been a right moody cow since she came in before, I'm sure she'll be happy you've come to see her'

'Thanks Gina' I smile as she walks into the kitchen 'if you girls need anything just shout me' and with that she's gone, what a lovely woman!

***

'Fuck off mum'

The first response I get when I walk into her room, I didn't knock, I'm going for the unannounced look , she's on her bed facing the other way so she can't see who's just walked in.

'You left your jacket' I say as I inch closer into her bedroom and I physically see her stiffen, she then turns around, red puffy eyes stare back at me

'What the fuck are you doing here?' typical, just what I expected off Naomi to be honest.

I walk to the corner of her bed, her eyes following my every step and I sit down.

'Like I said you left your jacket, but I came to talk to you as well' I smile but it doesn't get returned

'I don't want to talk to _you _Emily, I've got nothing to say to you Jesus, and my mum shouldn't of even fucking let you up' she shouts

I look away 'she was just trying to be nice'

'Yeah well, I don't fucking need that loon to be nice do I?' she spits at me and fucking hell I'm sick of her.

'Fuck me; are you always such a cold hearted bitch to everyone?'

'You don't even fucking know me'

Cut through me straight like a knife, and I was probably never going to get to know her with this bitchy facade she keeps fucking putting on, the room goes silent.

'What did you mean... when you said about us leaving school?' she looks panicked, for a moment that shy girl I've only seen a couple of time floods back into her eyes but it's gone almost the second I seen it.

'In case you didn't notice Emily, a couple of hours ago I was completely pissed, I could of talked about any shit that I really didn't give a fuck about'

Oh there it is... well I'm finished

'Yeah well, here's your jacket, see you around' I say blankly and throw the jacket at her, then I head for the door but not before she tries to get the last words in as usual

'Tell Effy I send her my regards' she says with heavy sarcasm, what the fuck, I kissed the fucking girl once, I'm not fucking married to her.

Still facing the door, hand on the handle and her behind my back I give her my all.

'I don't like Effy, I like you, and I've liked you for like 4 years now. but if you weren't such a fucking bitch you might of worked that out already, Effy was there when you where trying to fuck that guy when you we're meant to be with me, so sorry that I couldn't fucking clap whilst I watched you two go at it, you know what now this is all out, if you feel the need to ignore me now you know how I feel, just fucking do it because you've spent the last 4 years doing it so it can't possibly hurt as much as it already has anymore'

I take a breath and prepare my final words

'This is it Naomi, I can't do this anymore, whatever the fuck this is, I just can't play your fucking games anymore'

And with that I'm gone, door slammed and down the stairs.

'Nice meeting you Gina' I shout through to the kitchen because the best part about this fucking trip to Naomi's house was actually meeting her.

'You too dear, visit again soon' oh that I possibly almost will not be doing.

Walking down Naomi's path for probably the third and last time in my life my phone started to vibrate violently in my pocket.

Probably Katie asking where I am, or somebody as predicted as actually pissed in our shower and she needs help cleaning it.

Stopping in the middle of the pathway I drag my phone from my pocket and am surprised to see the name flashing across my screen Naomi... hmm.

I hover my finger over the open button before I actually get the courage to do it.

_I like you too._

My eyes are playing tricks or did Naomi just say she likes me too, fuck... do I reply or do I walk away and wait to see her in college? Or better do I turn around walk straight back in, wave at Gina and go straight back up to Naomi, fortunately I didn't need to decide

'I didn't even know that guy, he kissed me and I was drunk, I didn't want it obviously'

I turn around and see Naomi in the door way leaning against the wall

'Effy came onto me in my room, I was confused, she means nothing to me' I replied as if it was a game of who can make each other feel better first

And with that she marched down the path, had a quick look around (probably seeing if there was anyone who could see us) and attacked my lips with hers, so soft like I remember, she made the kiss deeper this time as she wrapped her arms around my neck

I pulled back 'I mean it this time Naomi, if I turn up to college tomorrow and you tell me you think of me as a friend i'll-'she cut me off with another peck to my lips

'Emily, I meant it' she said smiling into my lips between the kiss 'now shut the fuck up'

I obeyed her of course

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	11. Chapter 11

'Come back inside for a bit?' she says arms still around my neck, pretty positive I can hardly breathe right now I'm so happy

'I'd love to but once Katie goes in the room and finds a smashed bottle of vodka and loads of empty bottles everywhere she's going to fucking kill me' I say whilst giggling and she suddenly looks down guilty

'Hey, what's wrong?' I say, fingers under the chin trying to lift her face so she can see my eyes

'I shouldn't have dropped that fucking bottle... I was just, shocked you know?' she says now facing me and I smirk at her

Guilt.

'Don't worry about the floor, Katie will just be mad you wasted a full bottle of vodka' she laughs now and raises her eye brow

'Well Katie was always one for the simpler things in life'

She's right all Katie wants is a nice boyfriend who'll have sex with her whenever she wants, money and a fucking party every week, the normal teenager things, then it hits me and I turn away from Naomi's arms facing the road with my eyes closed and head arched back.

'Oh god' I say to myself quietly, I've been thinking about myself in all this, what the fuck is Katie going to think when she finds out about this? A gay sister to Katie is like having a murderer in the family, she's going to hate me, oh Jesus. my own sister is going to hate me

'Emily' Naomi comes behind me putting her hand on my shoulder, I turn around to face her and she looks concerned and a rather fucking bit confused

'She's going to hate me' I say to her, and she still looks confused, she stares at me contently for a couple of seconds before she realises what I mean, she gives me a sympathetic smile 'you don't know that'

But you see I do know that, because even if she thought Katie would be alright about this she would have said something like _'Katie won't hate you'_

'I do know that Naomi' I said softly, reaching for her hand and she gladly lets me take it 'she hates you for thinking you're gay and you're not even gay!'

'She won't hate you' Naomi intercepted the conversation 'she can't hate you, how could anybody hate you?' she says whilst squeezing my hand.

'God Naomi, when did you get so flattering' I laugh and she slaps my arm playfully

'I always was, _you where just too much of a bitch to notice'_

She uses the same words as I used in my speech before and smiles at me, my heart grows 10 times bigger just looking at her

'I have to go' I say sadly whilst taking my hand out of hers, 'wish I didn't have to but Katie might send out the search party' she sends me a sad smile then wraps her arms around herself

'Don't worry about it, I'll see you at college' she smiles at me, no hint of sarcasm in her voice at all, she then unfolds her arms and starts to stroke her palm up and down my arm 'night Em's' she says and then turns around to walk back to her house, but I catch her hand.

I pull her back to me and forcefully kiss her lips, she surprised but returns it, it then slows down and goes softer and smoother before we're pulled out of it when we hear the kitchen door in Naomi's house being shut, which is followed by the voice 'Naomi where are you, and why the fuck is the door wide open'

We both laugh and then I throw a smile at her and say 'no, I'll see you tomorrow' with a wink I'm gone again down my most favourite path in the world.

***

Lying in bed thinking about tonight's event, overall it was a pretty okay night, well that's if I forget about Naomi being felt up and then her walking in on me and Effy before it got even more heated I'd say it was pretty fucking excellent. I'm so happy it's actually pretty incredible, but I can't get rid of the gut feeling that tomorrow I'm going to go to college and Naomi's going to act like this whole thing didn't exist, she didn't get jealous of Effy, then she didn't admit she liked me and kissed me. She wouldn't would she... she couldn't.

When I got home, the house was completely empty to my surprise; I mean the people not the rubbish because that was a complete mess that I definitely would not be cleaning up. Katie probably got Cook to kick everybody out, Katie was trying to get wine out of mums favourite carpet shouting at me to help her or she'd fucking be grounded for life, I helped of course.

We went to bed, where I'm lying now and she's telling me about tonight, not that I'm listening I'm just giving the occasional oh and ah so she thinks I'm listen but no way, my minds to preoccupied tonight. Naomi text me not long ago saying that her jacket smelled like vodka and I would definitely be paying for it. Hopefully she'd make me pay.

'so then some stupid posh slut wants wine, like who fucking drinks wine at a house party' she holds for breath 'so yeah bitch spills it and I slap the bitch and tell her to get out and that's when everyone starts, but then cook and Freddie helped me clear everyone out and then jj-'I quickly sit up in my bed reaching for the phone, shit JJ I forgot about him, god I'm so fucking selfish, Katie see's my panic

'Calm down Em's, Freddie took him home yeah?' thanks god

'and then when they were gone I had to fucking get on my hands and knees and clean, I swear never again, and you'd pissed off somewhere, couldn't find my phone to phone you'

'Yeah I went to give Naomi her jacket back'

'She's got you on a tight leash Em's, you'd want to be careful there' she says with a hint of sarcasm

'Katie we've been through this she's not gay, I mean didn't you see her with that guy tonight?' trying to prove my point fucking hurts when I have to go back to that fucking scene.

'Yeah yeah, exactly my point, you didn't see her after you went upstairs, proper looking at him as if he were a disease'

'Yeah well, did you actually look at half the boys you invited Katie?' she laughs and I turn myself on my side so I'm facing her.

'I just don't get why you like her'

'We just got talking in politics, she's nice, you'd like her if you actually gave her a chance' all lies of course, yeah we got talking in politics, but no way Katie would like her... too opinionated to even go there.

'Like I said before, I'll give her a chance, but if she tries to kiss you or some gay shit Em's tell me yeah? Then there will be a nice big place on her face for my fist'

I stiffen, oh god Katie's really going to fucking hate me when the shit hit's the fan.

'Okay' I squeak out, tired, scared defenceless.

'Enough about her anyway, that guy you know the one in the red shirt with the hat well he asked me to like ask you...'

Her voice drones on, so fucking typical Katie.

***

Full day of philosophy today, which means Katie, Me, Effy and Naomi all in the same room again. Walking up to the stairs at college I'm hit with all's these decisions, do I wait outside for Naomi or is that too girlfriend yet? Should I text and ask where she is, or just go in and we'll find each other eventually.

I go for the last opinion, I don't want to look to desperate too early on in our relationship, wait is this even a relationship? Ah stop thinking!

Fucking books always need them, always in the back of my locker well that's if I can get into my locker because leaning on the door of that is Naomi, she hasn't noticed me yet but fuck me have I noticed her, she looks nervous but not in a bad way, I can't really describe it.

'Sorry you're going to have to move, I need my book' I say from a distance and she snaps her head towards me and smiles. She then reaches into her bag and pulls out a copy of the book I need, I look at her confused.

'how-'

'I have two, and you never bring your book to school ever, you're so fucking forgetful' wow she's so right, I'm always telling Josie that I've forgot my books, just never thought Naomi would actually pick up on the little details like that.

I grab the book off her 'hmm, whatever bitch' I say full of amusement and she fakes a sad face before smirking again.

'Oh sorry Katie, Have you seen Emily'

'fuck off' I shout at her joking of course then nudge her shoulder 'come on then genius' I motion towards our philosophy class and we begin to walk in a steady pass side by side, Hands brushing together but not one of us daring to connect them.

She's talking and I'm partially listening, not because she's boring because she is anything but boring, but because I can't take my fucking eyes off our hands, so close to each other's and I just want to reach out and touch it, and link them together.

God I want to hold her hand, I want to hold her hand, I want to hand her hand.

'You're sitting by me in here yeah?'

'God I want to hold your hand so much' I blurt out by accident and she looks at me amused with a raised eyebrow, we stop outside the class door and she looks down, then she links her hand with mine for a moment and just stares at me before letting go and putting her hand on the handle.

'Come on then, _genius' _she smiles, my words again

***

I don't know what's harder, holding hands under the table with Naomi without us trying to get caught by Katie, or the fact that Effy keeps looking over to me and licking her lips, Naomi's noticed too, because every time she does it my hand gets squeezed a little bit harder. I know she's only teasing us but fucking hell it's getting so annoying right now, especially since nail marks are definitely going to be left on my hand.

'I need to go the bathroom' I don't even ask Josie I just tell her and smile at Naomi, she returns it then I walk out the door, ignoring Josie's protests.

I'm just outside the class door when I hear it being closed again and I turn around, fucking Effy.

'Can you just stop doing what your fucking doing?' I say to her quietly, don't really feel like interrupting peoples lessons with our domestics.

She just stares at me amused 'calm down Emily'

'How can I calm down? You jump on me in my room and you're fucking flirting over the tables'

She starts laughing, 'I'm trying to help you' help me? How possibly could she be helping?

'How is this helping?' I say still quiet but frustration in my voice

'What happened straight after we started to kiss in your room?'

'What do you mean; you where there, you know what happened!'

She just smirks at me and raises her eyes brow, I really don't get what she means, I don't see how she helped unless... no, she couldn't, how would she know.

'You knew she'd come up to my room?' I ask her with disbelieve and she just smiles even wider at me and nods.

'and when I lick my lips in class she looks like she's about to rip my limbs off, and when I excused myself from the class straight after you her eyes never left me once, I'm just showing her what she's missing Emily'

In a Effy fucked up way she was trying to help, bloody hell, and I thought I had another girl to worry about, maybe I was getting a bit too big headed for my liking, I can't help the smile form on my lips.

'You sneaky little bitch' I say with amusing smile

She just shrugs and seems unfazed

'yeah well, people do underestimate me' she looks at her watch 'and in about 5 seconds Naomi's going to be coming out here to look for you'

I raise my eyes brow at her then unbelievably the philosophy door opens and out comes the blonde, Effy is still facing me with her back to Naomi, and I'm utterly amazed at how Effy does that.

Naomi smiles at me then looks at Effy back asking me with her eyes what we're doing.

'Don't worry Naomi, I' not trying to shag your girl' my mouth completely falls open and I throw a vicious stare at Effy, Naomi looks completely shocked and looks like she's about to run a fucking mile.

She coughs 'what are you on about, were just friends'

Oh. My face drops and Naomi looks at me as if she didn't mean it, but she obviously did, fucking hell is this girl ever going to stop playing with my fucking emotions.

'well' says Effy turning around and smiling at Naomi 'better get back in before I miss something important' she then walks straight past Naomi and back into the class slamming the door.

The slam is the only noise between me and Naomi right now.

'What did she want?' she says, actually no she demanded it, like what the fuck does she think she wants, to fuck me in the school hall.

'she was just being a friend' I spit back at her 'you know, like you and me, _friends_' and with that I walk straight behind her and head back to the class

'Emily I didn't-'she doesn't finish by time I'm in the class and door shutting on her face.

***

I ignored her all lesson, she tried to speak to me every time Josie would take that well needed speaking break but the only response she'd get was 'save it, Naomi' or I'd just completely not listen to her at all. I understand her not wanting Effy to know but still she promised we wouldn't go back to the just friends stage and here we fucking are again, we can trust Effy, well I trust her.

Lesson over, I grab my bag without even looking at her and head to lunch.

'Emily can you stop please'

'Nope can't Naomi, don't really want to talk right now'

I continue to walk but I notice she's stopped and she's just standing there looking at me.

'I'm scared!' she shouts and I stop in my tracks, scared of what, scared of me?

'You know Emily, you know you're gay' she's getting closer now as she whispers this, I don't want to be outted in the school hall anymore than the next girl does.

'I don't think I'm gay, but that doesn't mean I don't fucking like you and I'm scared' I walk closer to her as she continues

'I don't need people; they just fuck with your head and then leave in the end' tears start to form in my eyes; Naomi's never been this personal with me before.

'I want you and people, mainly twats are just going to judge me for that, not that I give a fuck' she adds because she's Naomi Campbell and I wouldn't want her to go soppy on me.

'And that fucking Effy is sniffing around you like a fucking bitch' she adds and I laugh whilst wiping my eyes.

'I never meant to hurt you'

'I know, people don't have to know because I know for a fact I certainly don't want Katie to know about me being gay, and I didn't tell Effy she knew before me' I smile at her and she returns it.

'Come on, let's go get lunch and I'll properly introduce you to Effy and the others, they're mostly wankers as you probably know but you might like them'

***

I thought Naomi eating lunch with the group would be seriously awkward but the thing I didn't expect was her to be sitting here still 20 minutes later having a laugh with everyone. Even Katie hasn't made a lesbian comment to her yet which is new but I doubt it's going to last. Cook has made a pass at her, but I couldn't really blame him to be honest, he makes passes at everybody, she just came back with a quirky remark and showed him the finger that definitely shut him up.

I'm memorized in one of Pandora's latest story when I catch Naomi's eye and she smiles at me, god I've fallen the most I can possibly go now and it doesn't scare me one bit.

**Thanks for reading! :)**

**review? **


	12. Chapter 12

**Just getting back into the swing of this story so chapters will get better! and updated regularly again.**

**Also thanks for the reviews on my new story and on this one ofcourse, really appreciate them, honestly :)**

It's been two weeks since Naomi first starting ending lunch with the group and now it's a regular occurrence, of course Katie's noticed and commented on the fact that she thinks Naomi's worming her way in and to get a fucking social life, but we all knew Katie wasn't going to stay nice to Naomi forever.

Especially today after her and Katie's massive argument at dinner, I could go through major details about it or I could just tell you the regular stuff that occurred, Katie commenting on her clothes, Katie commenting on her sexuality, Katie commenting on how she thought Naomi was sitting a bit too close to me for her liking, even the last one made me blush. Wonder what Katie would think if she saw what me and Naomi do in the toilets at every break.

We just kiss, extremely erotic fucking amazing kissed, we haven't slept together yet which doesn't bother me at all, I'm just happy to be with her, but actually 'being with her' if you get what I mean would also be nice someday.

It's Wednesday and me and Naomi are in the toilets doing our usual business of major make out before philosophy, actually this day it's more discussion while having a major make-out

'I tried to get on with her Em but she's just a complete fucking bitch' she reasons with me whilst kissing her way across my neck and oh god I don't want to be talking about my sister whilst doing this.

'Can't you two just try?' she kisses my neck harder and it makes me moan out, thank god the actual door to the bathroom has a lock because stalls couldn't keep these noises out '...for me'

'I always try for you, how do you think the argument started?' It's true, she was trying to be nice to Katie for my sake and Katie just completely took it the wrong way, I think Naomi commented on her shirt saying how nice it what and Katie accused her of looking at her tits.

'Sorry, it would just be nice for my sister and my girlfriend to get along that's all' she suddenly stops kissing my neck and looks into my eyes with a smirk 'girlfriend?'

'Well... I mean' I don't know what to say; she is my girlfriend isn't she? You wouldn't see me push Pandora against the toilet walls and ravish her lips so we're definitely not friends 'oh fucking hell Naomi, I thought you got past the whole friends thing by now'

I push her off me walking out the stall and walk over to the sink, I watch her in the mirror and she comes out of the stall behind me, wiping her lips and watching me carefully, I divert my eyes to the tap and pretend to wash my hands because anything's better than her freaking out about actually being in a relationship.

'Why are you so mad Emily?' I stop the pretend hand washing and spin around on my heels 'how can you even ask me that? I want to be with you, but we have to sneak around everywhere and act like we're fucking nothing, okay I agree with that for now with Katie being a bitch but fucking you won't even admit you're my girlfriend?'

I hear her take a breath and then hear footsteps coming towards me, I instinctively move further away not wanting her to touch me right now or I'll forget why I'm angry.

'I am your girlfriends, and you're mine... at least I hope you are because if you're not then I've been thinking wrong for these last 2 weeks' what? Okay I didn't expect that, I expected more of an I can't be your girlfriend Emily because I'm supposed to have a boyfriend, but no completely shocked by this.

I turn around and see her smile and walk the final step towards me, she then proceeds in wrapping her arms around my waist and pulling me closer, before placing a brief kiss on my nose.

'before you pulled away and pushed me off like a total psycho' she smirks down at me and I pout 'I was about to say I like how that sounds' she stops for a moment and looks at the ceiling with her eyes closed, 'girlfriend' she says before smiling back down at me.

'girlfriend Emily, as in if that fucking Effy tries to flirt with you again I'll make her more mysterious by fucking up her face, okay?' she says half jokingly and half serious and it fucking surprises me a bit, 2 weeks ago she was so unsure of us, never touching me, never wanting to be touched and now well, she's so sure, and believe me, likes to be touched.

I respond to her putting my hand on her cheek and smiling at her 'yes Naomi, girlfriend as in if you ever try and get off with another man on my couch again, I'll do more than go crying up in my room next time'

She scrunches up her face 'ah don't remind me... anyway I had a good reason I kiss him' she lets go of me and winks walking to the bathroom stall again.

'You expect me to follow you in there after you say you had a good reason to kiss him' I say full of sarcasm and pretend shock, I'm really interested in knowing this reason.

'Yes, because whilst trying to hide my feelings for you, I kissed a dirty grubby man to try and make them go away because I got scared but they didn't go away and he was disgusting, so now I think you owe me that apology' she raises her hand motioning me to join her and of course I will, that's the sweetest thing she's ever said to me.

***

Barely making it to class since me and Naomi got a little heated, checking for the obvious signs of major kissing before we walk in obviously, no marks on skin, no smudged lipstick and no sex hair, even though we haven't had sex but you get what I mean. I'll have to say running in the class with Naomi both out of breath after running and looking a little red does not get you the best look off your sister ever, but whatever, I needed to toilet and got held up, person excuse.

'Now that everybody's finally here' Josie's kind eyes turn vicious as she blatantly points them at me, hey I might always be late but at least I fucking attend right?

'we're going to be working in pairs on a special home project' most of the class starting to do their usual bored and want to go home moan but I wasn't fussed, obviously me and Naomi would chose each other to be partners and we'd spend it in hers doing anything but actual work like we usually do.

Hands on thigh under the table I squeeze Naomi's leg informing her that it's going to be us working together and she takes my hand under the table and squeezes it back before sending me that beautiful smile of hers.

'I'll be choosing the partners and you have to stud-' the moans off the class got even louder once they heard this, me and Naomi let out our annoying moans almost in harmony with the class, no one like's working with people you hardly fucking know.

'oh come on people, it's a chance to get to know each other better' Josie says trying to win the class around and I scoff, Naomi leans over an whispers quietly in my ear 'I'd rather get to know you better' I start to choke and Katie sends daggers over to our desk, not aimed at me of course but definitely Naomi, who looks amazingly smug right now.

'I've actually already worked out the pairs' she picks up the piece of paper off her desk which is clearly colour coded, she kind of cute in a fucked up adult weirdo type of way

'Alex and Stacey, group one'

'Ben and Adam, group two'

'Naomi and Katie, group three'

I let out the loudest laugh ever as Naomi stiffens next to me, Katie's the first to stand up and start throwing her protests at Josie 'whoa yeah, I can't like go with her, please don't make me go with her'

'Not like I want to work with you either Katie'

'Oh shut up bitch, you're well happy your partners a fucking girl'

'You know what Katie you little fu-'

'Girls!' Josie actually shouts, she fucking shouted for the first time ever and all the conversations that are in the air completely stop as we look at Josie wide eyed

'That's the last I'll hear of it, it's you two now get over it' no one's protesting to Josie now, not even Katie. Although I can see the way she's looking at Josie now, and Jesus I don't want to be around when Katie as time to let her steam out.

'JJ and cook'

'Effy and Emily'

Oh my fucking leg, that's right Naomi's nails, Effy smirking right at us, I know Effy doesn't fancy me but Naomi doesn't know that, I can't tell her the real reason Effy tried to sleep with me, because then It'll just look completely pathetic on my half.

'how fucking convenient for her' Naomi says whilst stalking Effy with her eyes, god she really fucking hates her, they did get on the first time we ate lunch together but then Effy had to start the discussion of girls she'd fuck at the lunch table which got Naomi to boil right over the fucking top, especially when she winked at me.

I just wanted to kiss her cheek right now and tell her that she doesn't have to be worried, also that I've loved her for years but I'll leave that part out because that would even scare me off.

When the class ended I was shocked when Naomi locked our hands together and started walking down the hall with me, I came to a stop and she looked at me weird

'What's wrong?' she said, seriously confused.

'Naomi, you're holding my hand... in public' she looked down at our hands and then looked over at Katie who hadn't noticed yet but was probably about to come over to us, with that she dropped my hand straight away

'shit sorry Emily, I didn't think' I just smiled at her because this could mean two things, she's ready to become public about our relationship which I don't think I'm ready for since Katie would fucking bitch slap me or she just generally didn't think.

As expected Katie comes storming over to us, well actually more to Naomi this time

'I'm not doing that fucking assignment tonight, I'll come to yours whenever I like, not on your fucking schedule' she then kissed my cheek and throw Naomi the ugliest look ever before prancing past us and straight out the entrance. We stood still for a moment shunned and then we caught each other's eye and burst out laughing.

***

We hold hands now, like hold hands a lot, only of course when people aren't around because I don't think holding hands would look that innocent around our friends. Like now for instance walking to Naomi's house, we're holding hands.

Going to Naomi's house is like second nature to what we do after school now, we just sit around, talk, kiss, share embarrassing stories with her mother, Naomi doesn't really like Gina but I don't know why, I think she's fucking amazing.

'So... Effy as your partner' she says as we're lying on her bedroom floor just talking, I knew she'd bring it up I just through it would have been sooner than this.

'Yeah' I reply because I don't know what else to say, I don't think I can ensure her enough that I don't want to sleep with Effy.

'Should be eventful for you two' she says coldly and I look at her from the corner of my eyes.

'What's that supposed to mean?' I ask a bit defensively

'Nothing just, nearly had you once and-'

'Fuck sake Naomi' I roll over and sit up from the floor staring at her, she's acting all casual but I know this is bothering exactly the same amount as it is fucking bothering me.

'You don't get it do you?' she just looks and me and I swallow 'I don't want to fucking shag Effy' and without thinking I add the last part 'the only person I want to fucking shag is you' now it's her turn to sit up and smirk at me, I lie back down and put my arm over my eyes cursing myself for being so fucking cheesy.

I feel her tug at my arms and I finally let her lift them for her to appear smiling down at me.

'Really?' she says and I just stare at her, 'Prove it'

Fuck me, with those two last words she raised her eyebrow and began to kiss me fiercely, back flat on the floor and Naomi laying on top of me with her leg pressed between my two legs, she slowly reached down, her mouth never leaving mine and she began to unbutton my shirt slowly, caressing her fingers across the newly seen naked skin that the buttons would show. I've wanted this for fucking years and I had to do something, when she discarded my shirt, I sat up grabbing the bottom of her t-shirt and lifted it over her head leaving Naomi sitting on top of me with just a bra. Fuck.

She began to kiss down my neck, which I think is becoming her favourite spot before I dragged her mouth back up to reach mine, pushing her into a mind agonising kiss.

Suddenly without a knock or even any fucking signal at all a new voice entered the silent bedroom

'Can we hurry this fucking assignment along because I don't really want to be with you all-'

Looking down at us, Naomi's hands centimetres away from my bra, both naked from the waist up and Naomi completely on top of me, she looks between us with disgust.

'Emily, what the fuck are you doing!?'

**Review?!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Sorry for the wait! thanks for reading and for everyone who reviews, you inspire me to keep writing!**

**Chapter 13! enjoy :)**

She looks between us with utter disbelieve, non of us have moved, well expect for when I pushed Naomi off me and now were both staring wide eyed at my twin, side by side, still partially naked. Katie closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and then reopens them, as if what she's seeing is a dream and she could make it go away, but this isn't going away, the disbelieve turns to disgust and with one last hateful glance at me she turns around walks out the door.

In an instant I push myself off my feet and look down to a startled Naomi 'I have to go after her' I say running towards the door 'Emily your shirtless!' she shouts as I start to run down the stairs with Katie in front of me, not caring if I was shirtless, I just needed to fucking talk to her.

'Katie stop' I shout from behind her as she sprints down the stairs

'Emily why are you running-'Gina cuts off her sentence when she see's 'Emily' run out of the door and a slightly more naked Emily run past her, obvious in confusion as she probably didn't know I had a twin she mutters 'twin's' as she takes in the fact that I'm just in a bra and pants

'Sorry I have to get her' I throw a quick apology at Gina and before waiting for her reaction I push myself out of the front door, where the coldness hits my naked body and down the pathway till I'm close enough to Katie to grab her shoulder

'Katie fucking stop' I shout at her and she turns around

'Don't fucking touch me' she screams in my face and pushes me backwards into the bushes, believe me with a naked back it fucking hurts a lot more.

She doesn't carry on walking though; in fact she starts to walk towards me with hatred in her eyes,

'I knew she'd turn you into a fucking dyke! But you never fucking listen do you?'

'Katie' I try to reason with her but she just pushes me back into the bush, still in front of me

'No Emily, you fucking listen to me now, what she was doing in there with you' she gestures up to Naomi's window with her hands 'was fucking disgusting!'

'I can't help it!' I shout back up at her and I'm surprised when she starts to laugh and then looks down at me again with amusement in her eyes.

'What do you mean you can't fucking help it?' she spits at me again 'just tell the bitch to fucking leave you alone! You're not like her Emily so stop thinking it'

'I'm gay!' I scream at her and she takes a step back at me, staring at me with confusion

'No your-'

'Naomi's not gay! I'm fucking gay, I've known since year 9'

'Emily shut the fuck up' she screams at me and puts her hands over her ears

'When you were looking at boys, I'd be looking at girls...' I continue

'Emily I'm fucking warning you'

'And if you hadn't walked in then we'd probably be a lot more naked then we are right now' I spit at her, wanting her to know that it's always been fucking me and not Naomi provoking this.

This really sets her off, she grabs me by my throat throwing me back against the bush one more time but this time he hand doesn't leave me, and she stays there watching me as I visibly start to choke out

'Listen you little fucking bitch, you haven't found the right guy, it's easy for you to be vulnerable, so we'll just say you needed someone to be there, and that dyke took advantage okay?' she says looking into my eyes and nodding her head

'Katie I love her!' that's the first time I've ever said it out loud and it wasn't to the girl I wanted to say it to, instead it was to my seething twin sister who is currently standing above me as if she owns me.

Looking at me with more amount of disgust then she had been before she removes her hand from my throat 'don't even speak to me ever again' she spits in my face, turns around and starts to walk down the road.

Clutching the red marks she's left on my neck with my hands, I fall down to the floor and burst out in tears, I see the back of her head leaving the street and I can't forget the way she looks at me, putting my head down, arms over it I begin to sob more than ever. I feel a warm pair of hands stroke my shoulders, I know who it is, as if I couldn't know those hands.

'Em, are you coming in, it's cold' she asks me softly tugging at my hand so I'll stand up

All I remember next is Naomi taking me to her room and asking me to calm down then I fell asleep, going back to mine was going to be a big thing for me.

* * *

I wake up a couple of hours later by a door slamming downstairs, I open my eyes dazed and look around the room confused, it's dimly lit and the curtains are drawn allowing little light as possible to get through, I feel safe in this room, Naomi's scent surrounds me and I feel like for once she feels the same as I do, at least I hope.

I'm still trying to remember why I'm even still in her room; she isn't in here, so I must have fallen asleep alone? I rack my brain for a couple of seconds and then it hits me, fucking hell the whole Katie incident, Naomi dragging me up the stairs and kissing my head before I fell into a deep slumber.

I hear the stairs creak and voices travelling through the hall, I throw myself back down onto the bed and face the opposite direction to the door, at least if I pretend I'm still a sleep I don't have to answer questions that I just can't be bothered to answer right now, the door opens and I stay silent.

'See sweetie, she's fine, you don't have to keep checking on her every two seconds you know' I hear her mum whisper from the doorway, Naomi in toe.

'Yeah well, she wouldn't be like this if you wouldn't of fucking let Katie up!' she spits at her mum and I can feel their eyes on the back of my head

'I thought it was Emily' she retorts 'maybe if you talked to me more I would of known about her twin! What happened anyway?'

'Whatever' she replies, I still feel their eyes on me and it's making it hard for me not to move

The room goes silent, but there still at the door

'Isn't she lovely?' Gina whispers to Naomi 'you're not going to get better than that girl you know'

I flinch, like visibly and I'm not surprised if they haven't even noticed it, Gina knows? How the fuck does she know, and she doesn't care? I hear Naomi puff out a large breath and then turn to her mum 'come on, we don't want to disturb her' with that the door shuts and I'm alone in the dim lit room again.

* * *

20 minutes later I was up and giving myself a once over in Naomi's mirror, fucking hell I looked terrible, how could her mum say I looked lovely in this state, obviously Gina was just trying to be nice, god I love that woman.

'Oh good you're awake' Naomi startled me by walking into the room smiling at me.

'yeah' I responded by putting on my shoes and picking up my bag, before I had time to tell her I was leaving she stepped in front of me

'Where are you going?' she looked at me concerned

'I don't know, Probably JJ's I just can't go home' I stuttered sniffing and rubbing my nose

'Why don't you stay here tonight?'

'look Naomi, if you want to end it, it's fine' I just throw out at her what I had been thinking since Katie found us, things are going to get fucking hard and no way Naomi's going to be sticking around for the ride.

'What?' she looks confused

'Katie's not going to let this die, she's probably going to spread how you jumped on me, and how you pursued me into your bed' I said giving her a sympathetic smile 'so I understand if you want to end this' with that I walk towards to door sending her a small smile

'Emily...'

I continue to walk towards to door, it's heartbreaking when you love someone and it all just gets ripped away from you because your homophobic sister is a complete fucking bitch.

'I love you too' I stop and turn around

'What?' I say in disbelief

She takes the final steps over to me till she's standing right in front of me 'I said, I love you' she says full of confidence, her eyes not full of regret but... love.

I don't respond, just stare at her blankly in shock, but by the looks of things she thinks my shock is a bad shock but fuck me this is an amazing shock.

She starts to look down at her feet embarrassed and I decide maybe it's about time I say something.

'I've waited years to hear you say those words' I say quietly and she looks up at me with a relieved bright smile, I reach forward for her face and push it against mine, lips not leaving each other, tasting each other, getting to know each other, and the best one of all, loving each other.

I pull back leaving us both gasping for air 'say it again' I demand her, with my arms still around her waist, and head leaning on her shoulder

'I love you' she says, and I pull back and look into her eyes.

I take her hand, and lead her over to the bed; she looks at me confused as I start to unbutton my shirt in front of her, slowly. I watch as her eyes turn from confusion to raw desire as I zip down my jeans and roll them down my legs slowly, standing in front of her with nothing but my bra and knickers I lean in to her ear and repeat her words from before 'prove it'

She slowly lowers my body onto her bed, and in front of me removes her shirt, I sit up and rub my hands across her stomach and down to her pants, looking up into her eyes asking for permission she just smiles down at me shyly and I undo the button and begin to push them down her legs. Once she standing before me, naked, well still wearing underwear she lowers herself on top of me and begins to attack my lips with hers, I stroke my hands over her face as were kissing and then she leaves my lips to attach them to my neck, back to her favourite place again she sucks and lightly bites at it, trying not to leave any visible marks but we all know that's going to be impossible.

'Fuck Naomi, just fuck me!' I blurt out and she looks at me and smirks, her hand trails down my stomach and her eyes never leaving mine, I bite my lip as she inches closer to the front of my knickers but she stops just as her hand lightly touches them, looking down at me one more time I let out a frustrated grunt and she just laughs at me

'Patience Emily' she whispers to me and before I have time to respond she lowers her hand into my knickers lightly touching my most sensitive part and begins to pump two fingers straight in and out of me, I jump a little in shock but she holds my body down with her remaining hand and kisses my lips.

Fucking hell this feels good, having her making me want her like this, having her making me moan every time she inches deeper and deeper inside me, she knows what she's doing because every time my moans get louder she smirks down at me.

She starts to kiss my neck again as she continues to completely ravish me with her fingers, I'm so close I begin to feel my breathing go irregular, she can sense this too so she adds another finger and I'm completely done for

'fucking hell Naomi' I scream and she silences me with more kisses , deepening the kiss leaving me mumbling random stuff into her mouth as she gets faster and faster. She pumps her hand one last time and that's it, I begin to breath heavy and my eyes, jam closed, she pushes herself back off my body to watch me , I open my eyes to see her staring down in pure amazement as I come back down from my high.

This girl will definitely no doubt be the death of me.

* * *

Next time I wake up in complete darkness with Naomi's arms protectively wrapped round my naked body, I turn around to face her and see her perfect face breathing in and out lightly whilst she sleeps off the last three hours, to say getting intimate with Naomi was good would be the fucking understatement of the year.

She said she loved me, after months of getting her to admit her feelings she finally said she fucking loves me, I don't think my heart could be as whole as it is right now, but there's still fucking Katie in the back of my head, what's not to say she went home and outted me to my entire family? The last thing I need is to go home tomorrow morning to my clothes thrown outside in the rain.

'Stop thinking' I heard Naomi mutter sleepily as her arms tightened around my waist, she leaned forward and places tiny kisses all over my shoulder, turning around once again I see her blue eyes staring straight into mine and I can't help a tear escape mine, 'I love you Naomi Campbell' I whisper to her whilst stroking her fringe from out of her eyes 'I really fucking love you' I say and she loosens the arms from my body and catches my hand with hers.

She locks our fingers together, looks down at them and them kisses my hand. She then looks back up at me and smiles 'I love you too Emily' she replies and my heart fucking swells.

'I'm not going to let her hurt you again' she whispers into the night and I know who she's referring to but I don't want to mention her right now so I just leave Naomi to it. 'I won't let her, I promise' with then I push my head onto her shoulder and we both drop off into a light slumber again, my dreams are going to be fantastic tonight, but not so good in the morning.


	14. Chapter 14

Sorry for the long wait on this! I kind of got lost whilst trying to write a new chapter with having a new story and all, but it's back!

**Just wanted to say a big thank you for everyone who reads and reviews this story, it's my first ever story so i seriously appreciate it.**

**:)**

Bursting light that's nearly blinding my eyes, soft sheets wrapped around me and grinning Naomi on top of me, wait a minute, a very naked grinning Naomi on top of me. 'Good morning' she says with that incredible minor lisp she gets of a morning, and because I have time to reply she already closed the gap between us with a passionate kiss.

First I'm kind of startled and don't move by the sudden impact, especially since I've just woken up about 5 minutes ago and it usually takes me 2 hours and a lot of breakfast to usually function right, but fuck it? What other girls can say there alarm is a completely out of this word naked blonde, not many I tell you.

Stroking my hands down her neck, just below her hair I pull her face into me closer and kiss her back with 10 times more passion, desire and just pure fucking love, she starts to deepen the kiss which obviously I have no problem with, just as I'm about to reach my hands down and pull the loose duvet away from her naked body because things are getting a little heated and I like where this is headed she pulls back, smirking at me.

'well good morning to you too' I say back to her catching my breath, and she just keeps smiling down at me, arms either side of my face on her pillows, and her hair falling loosely down around her face and chest.

God she's perfect, and I'm not just saying this because she's given in to my obvious 4 year charm and decided that Emily Fitch isn't actually half bad to be with, and not just because she's looking down at me now with so much adoration in her eyes that I think my hearts going to burst, no. It's because she's Naomi fucking Campbell and everything I've ever fucking wanted.

Nothing could ruin this electrifying moment between us, we're so completely focused on one another right now that hundreds of things could happen and nothing would make us flinch. Gina could come in right now, offering us tea, which would probably end up with her dropping the cups when she sees what position and state were in and we still wouldn't move.

Why couldn't everything of been this perfect always?

That's right, that's when I remember, Katie is the fucking reason.

Katie prancing her way in the room, Katie face dropping and the way she looked at me in disgust, following her outside with desperation trying to make her understand the way I feel and how it's not my fault, and finally the way she gave me one final look telling me to never speak to her again.

She's probably at home now, buttering her toast over the breakfast table, whilst gossiping to mum about what she found out last night, fuck I can't get the images out of my head of my mum breaking down and muttering a lot of shit that it's her fault and Katie must of been seeing things because there's no way her precious quiet Emily is one of those.

With it all getting to me I break my eye contact from Naomi with a frustrated groan and cover my eyes with my arms, also note to self, stop thinking about your family when you've got Naomi's thigh currently rubbing up against yours under the covers.

'Emily' she says softly and I feel her move about, her body which was on top of mine has now moved to my side, I slowly take my arms away from my eyes to see her leaning on her side, one arm propped up to hold the side of her head up and her mouth still smiling at me, but not as big as before.

Copying her actions and rolling my body onto the side to face her, I sign gently, running my hands across her crisp sheets to her hip where I draw calming shapes and she looks down at my hand still smiling gently, looking back up at her, she stops my hand from moving across her hip and gives me an expectant look.

'Katie is going to fucking kill me' I say sadly, lowering my eyes away from hers because it's true and I'm such a fucking twat for caring about what Katie thinks of me anyway, it makes the whole situation ten times worse being twins aswell.

'It's going to be fine' I hear her say as she stroke her fingers a long mine and my eyes snap back up to hers in an instant.

'No Naomi, it really won't' I say bitterly laughing because there's no way that the next time I see Katie she's going to congratulate me then ask me out for a bite to eat.

'You're letting it worry you too much' and for once I'm actually shocked about her reactions, doesn't she actually know what Katie's going to do? She's not the type to forgive and forget.

'How can I not worry?' I say with the built up frustration inside me, sitting up in the bed, I pull the covers up with me, covering my chest and face Naomi 'The way people are going to be whispering about us when we walk down the halls, the way they are constantly going to judge us with whatever we do'

She looks at me confused so I continue

'Naomi don't think Katie's just going to be nastier to you now and that's it, she's going to tell everyone, I know her. She spread a rumour about you for nothing in school, and now that she has evidence it's just going to be worse'

Now it's her turn to sit up in the bed, she looks seriously nervous right now but I don't blame her, I'm not ready to be outted to the entire school either, and especially to my fucking family.

'She's probably at home right now telling my family how much of a big dyke I am' I play with the corner of the sheets and she continues to watch me

'Are you really ready for all this to come out now?' I ask her quietly then meet her eyes and she looks sceptical.

'I want to be honest with you Emily' she takes a deep breath then looks down at her hands 'I'm not ready' she says not meeting my eyes and I can't help the tiny smirk that lands on my face at seeing how nervous she is, she probably doesn't want to hurt me, but at least she's being honest with me now.

I actually don't feel sad, annoyed or angry at her at all, I kind of agree with her on that front.

'Neither am I' I admit and she looks up at me, and I just smile reassuring her that we are both on the same page.

'We don't need this right now' I say to her and she nods in understanding, I sign slightly 'so we just deny it'

I shift closer to her, hand lifting up to cup her right cheek and looking straight into her eyes 'Katie's a bitch, it's a rumour, we'll just deny it' I say to her and she just smiles lightly at me 'but just for a while' I say and now I start to get shy 'because like I love you, you know' I say not meeting her eyes and now blushing, she giggles just before pushing her face closer to mine

'Yeah just a while' she repeats, her lips finding mine in nothing more but a gentle I love you too kiss.

Pulling back I groan in frustration and she just raises her eyebrow laughing at me 'well, I don't know about you but I'm fucking starving' I now begin to laugh and she climbs out of the bed completely naked and my laugh subsides down my throat, trying to divert my eyes away from her is next to fucking impossible when it comes to her perfect body.

She smirks, running her eyes down her own body because she knows what she's fucking doing to me, since I'm too preoccupied I don't notice the grey t-shirt that suddenly comes flying at me

'now as much as I like the way you are now' she stops and now runs her eyes down my body, which is currently still covered by her sheets, she bites her lip looking like she's taken a mental picture and then brings her eyes back up to mine 'and as much as my mum agrees with nudists, there still might be a couple of random men roaming around this house' she stops, turning around, covering her perfect body with another shirt.

'So I don't think you'd want them to see you naked' she comments and I blush.

Yeah right Campbell, you just don't want to see your girl get ogled by anyone else, I see straight through her.

* * *

'What are you doing?'

Naomi's looking at me in completely amazement as a mess round with my toast, pulling off the crust and perfectly arranging it on the side of my place.

I look up at her to see her watching me, smirk on face, ciggie in hand, I smile at her

'I don't like crust' I simply reply before getting back to the task and taking it off all the toast Naomi just made me in her small comfy kitchen, she takes a deep drag of her cigarette before stumping it out in the ashtray.

'You don't like crust?' she replies blowing out the smoke in the opposite direction to me, as if she didn't hear me, eyebrow raised and amusement in her eyes.

'Nope it's disgusting' I state crinkling up my nose and she decides to tease me further.

'Is that even normal?' she asks, gesturing to the plate full of crusts with a small smile tracing her lips.

'Naomi darling, you're going to have to learn that I'm anything for normal' I reply to her, grabbing the toast and taking a massive bite out of it, whilst eating it in front of her, I make little 'mmm' sounds, pointing towards the crust 'see better' I comment and smile at her.

She starts to laugh, before looking at me contently

'Yeah I could learn that' she says, standing up, elbows on table, reaching over and stroking her fingers across my mouth, making bread crumbs drop down in front of me.

She stops, and smirks back up into my eyes 'But maybe you should show me first?'

Dropping the last piece of toast down onto the plate, she leans over the table even closer to me, her lips seconds away from mine and oh fuck, kissing her is never going to get old.

'Girls, are you up yet?' a woman's voice rains through the hall, and Naomi and I jump apart faster than the actual leading up to the kiss, picking up my toast and fidgeting around with it again, and her lighting up another cigarette before she answers her mum.

'Yeah were in here' Naomi calls out to her, rolling her eyes at me and I let out a little giggle.

A very cheerful looking Gina then appears around the kitchen door, massive smile on face, shopping bags in hand, she looks between us nodding slowly, and then her smile grows bigger.

'Hello Emily love, you okay?' she says whilst bustling past us and filling the cupboard's with her newly bought items.

'I'm fine thanks Gina' I answer smiling, even though she can't see me, I swear she's always happy, it's fucking infectious. I look towards Naomi and she continues to smoke, completely not bothered about the conversation at all, I don't really get why she doesn't like her mum, she's fucking lovely.

When Gina finishes putting the shopping away she takes a seat at the table, and smiles between me and Naomi again, Naomi just looks at her mum with a raised eyebrow then Gina looks back at me

'So Emily you're a twin?' she says and Naomi scoffs, I send her a sharp look before I smile and turn back to Gina 'Yeah Katie, Unfortunately' I say and she begins to laugh.

'Siblings hey, that's why I'm glad I only had the one' she says, and I giggle turning my direction towards Naomi who's now giving her mum the dirtiest look.

'And look at her now, smoking her lungs away'

'Whatever' Naomi says, taking a deliberately long drag in front of her mum, then blowing the smoke in her direction, Gina rolls her eyes at her.

'Don't you ever get confused?' she says to Naomi, and she must get confused because she looks it right now, me too, what does she mean by that question?

Stubbing her second ciggie in the ashtray she looks back at her mum

'What you going on about?'

'Well, haven't you ever mistaken Katie for Emily and went to kiss her? '

Oh my fucking god, before I have time to actually have a heart attack my phone starts to vibrate across the table

Looking at Naomi who now is paler than I've ever seen her, and frozen to the same position as me which is looking at the phone as if it's going to answer it's self because we don't want to answer that question, I pick it up and freeze again to the name that's on the screen

'It's my mum' I say not really telling anybody

'I should...' I point to the hall door and Gina smiles at me

'Yeah, go answer it love' I smile at her and Naomi before making my way to the hall.

Closing the door behind me, I stare at the screen for a while deciding what to do, I could answer it now and she'll throw questions at me, probably tell me it's wrong and that she doesn't approve, or I could leave it to bask until after college where she'll probably be more angry and ten times worse.

Fuck it.

'Hiya Mum' I say cheerfully, because she might be about to kick me out or something but you can always have time for manners.

'Emily love, where the hell are you?' she says, sounding relieved.

I hesitate for a minute,

'I'm... at Naomi's, didn't Katie tell you?'

'No, she said she hadn't seen you around, Jesus Emily you scared me, you need to learn how to use that phone!' she says and I can't help but look down at the phone confused, wait Katie didn't tell her? Oh so she's probably going to miss the family out but just inform all the college about it.

'Sorry mum' I say quietly and I hear her take a deep breath

'Its fine love, just don't do it again'

'I won't' I answer'

'I've got to go, you make sure you get to college on time, and definitely be home tonight okay?'

'Yeah I will, bye mum'

Ending the call I look around in disbelief, in one aspect I'm happy, everything's normal and I don't have to worry about my mum looking at me with disgust, but another is disappointment, maybe it was better if Katie did it, saves me a hell of a job.

Before walking back into the kitchen I decide to listen by the door for a moment, I can't even imagine the conversation Naomi had with her mum the minute I left the room.

'Oh mum just shut up' I hear Naomi, whispering frustrated, probably trying to be quiet so I can't hear her.

'I'm just saying she's properly lovely, I don't see why you're hiding her' Gina says, and I freeze again, how does Gina just know these things? I don't think Naomi's actually told her, she must have powers.

I hear Naomi sign and the chair legs scrapping down 'Come on Emily, better get to college' I hear her shout from the kitchen, time to face the music.

* * *

'This is going to be the worst day ever' I sign standing outside the college doors looking up at the building with Naomi by my side; she begins to laugh and I throw her a disbelieving look.

She shrugs 'Guessing this is your first gay rumour?' she says smirking at me and my face drops, god she's been getting this for years, absolute fucking years. All down to my stupid fucking sister who probably just couldn't handle that Naomi had more going on in her brain than Katie did.

'I should have stopped her' I say guiltily to Naomi and she looks down at me confused

'Stopped her from spreading those rumours about you' I confess and she looks down to her shoes, the last time I tried to apologise for these rumours she left me alone in a cafe fucking heartbroken.

'I was just scared, she was so fucking powerful, but you must have been scared' I look down at my feet aswell and from the side of my face I see her looking at me 'god I'm such a fucking coward' I say rubbing my hands over her face and I hear her chuckle lightly.

'Emily, none of that was your fault okay?' she says, sending a calm smile my way 'and I never blamed you for what she did ever, she's her own person Emily, not you' she says, stroking her thumb over my palm secretly so no one see's us and I smile at her.

'Let's get it over with then' I say, walking towards to entrance and Naomi follows me.

Walking inside, I feel self conscious, everyone's doing there day to day thing, not looking at me and Naomi at all, maybe no one's just noticed us yet.

'EMS, NAOMI!' Pandora comes running over to us screaming our names 'I can't believe it' she shouts looking between the two of us, and my shoulders slump looking over towards Naomi, she just sends a defeated smile panda's way and we continue to listen

'Panda, it's just a ru-'

'I mean who would have thought that thommo would buy me this for my birthday!' she continues to ecstatically scream at us, whilst throwing an expensive looking African necklace in our face 'isn't it lush?' I turn towards Naomi, and relief is clearly flashed across her face, and I begin to laugh.

'What's so funny Em's?' Pandora looks at me confused and I compose myself

'Sorry panda, and seriously it's gorgeous' I say smiling at her, and she grins down at the necklace looking at it dreamily

'Anyway gotta go' she says before zooming down the halls and she's gone, Jesus I swear that girl is on acid.

'Fuck me' I hear Naomi say next to me, when I face her she smirking and then we both burst out laughing, she looks over my shoulder and her laughing comes to an end with whatever she's just seen, turning around I understand why, Katie putting her things inside her locker, she isn't looking at us, she either hasn't seen us or acting like she hasn't seen us.

'I'll have to talk to her' I sign and Naomi looks down at me

'Want me to come' she offers and I just smile at her being sweet

'No I better do this alone, besides I don't want you to be late for your lesson' I laugh and she just pouts at me

'Well' she says 'I better...' she points towards her lesson down the hall and I just smile at her

'Yeah' I say but she doesn't move, we just continue to stare at each other

'God I want to kiss you now' I say and her grin grows 'and I meant to blurt it out this time' she begins to laugh whilst walking away, 'cya at lunch Fitch' she winks at me and then she's gone.

Turning back around I notice Katie's still at her locker, still acting like she can't see me of course, I walk slowly up to her, not saying anything when I stop right by her, just waiting for her to finish whatever she's doing in the locker.

'What?' she says, not looking at me

'You didn't tell anyone' i say softly and she scoffs

'Yeah, asif I'm going to tell everyone my sisters a dyke' she spits into the locker, still messing around with things and not looking at me 'I'm ashamed of you' she finishes and I look at her with disbelief

'Katie-'

'And I thought I told you not to fucking talk to me'

'You have to understand' I say to her, and finally she tears her eyes away from the fantastic locker to look at me

'No I don't' she says looking me up and down

'I'll never fucking understand, you freak' she slams her locker shut, and then marches down the hall and away from me.

Freak, she thinks I'm a freak.


	15. Chapter 15

**Bonjour! First of all I'm so sorry for not updating this for months, I really got into my other story making it hard to find new ideas for this.**

**but here we are, chapter 15! I think the next chapters going to be a flashback...**

**thanks for reading/reviewing x**

I've been neglecting a lot of people, focusing on Naomi for years and then actually gaining her love makes it near to impossible to actually think about other things. It's kind of weird really, in my pathetic early teenage fantasy of being with her well, let's just say we did a lot of things naked. I've realised that never did I once fantasise about running my hands through her hair of a morning, or even eating breakfast with her whilst her mum watches us exchange sly looks. This makes me think that maybe what I had for Naomi was just lust back then, but right now it's truly developed into love.

Katie had been ignoring me for a couple of days now, the only time we actually were forced to speak together was when we were asked about our days at the dinner table, even then I'd feel her eyes on me when I was eating, but as soon as my hopeful eyes snapped up hers would be dragged away, replaced with that look she's constantly been giving me lately, repulsion. The truth is I think I'd rather have her spit abuse at me then what she's doing right now, silence really gets to me, she knows this, that's why she's using it against me. It would only make the conversation a lot more awkward when Mum would ask if my new 'friend' Naomi had herself a boyfriend, I'd expect Katie to laugh or at least choke on her food but no, again nothing happened, she's just stare down at her food whilst I'd falsely tell mum about Naomi just coming out of a relationship and taking a break for a while.

Mum had been more than ecstatic for me and Naomi (obviously not in the relationship sense) she loves the idea of me breaking my twin exterior from Katie and finding my own way in life, and I quote '_you know I love JJ Emily, but sometimes it's just nice to have female friends for the more intimate times' _after I protested telling her I already had female friends, she continues with a sarcastic sigh '_There's something about that stonem girl, she's not right... and the other one' _so anyway, let's just say she was more than happy to let me sleep in my _friend _Naomi's house whenever I wanted.

So my handing in of assignments had gone a little shit, and keeping promises to Mum about returning home at certain times were going a miss, but there was another thing I'd been neglecting, Something that kept me going since the start of college, someone who never got bored of my constant rants about random things, and someone who could probably use his best friend right now, JJ.

'A baby Emily, she has a baby!' was the frantic phone call I had received from JJ Wednesday night, I offered to come around and see him straight away because frankly, he sounded a little fucking scared right now, but he started to protest telling me that the Bristol streets were technically not safe enough for me to be roaming about again at that time, so we ended that phone call filled with promises of meeting each other on the steps before lesson tomorrow to have a nice long chat.

The girl he got the number off in the canteen, remember the day he dazzled her with cards? Well yeah Lara, also turns out she has a baby and let's just say, poor little Jay wasn't prepared when he first went out on his first ever date for that news.

'You should really calm down, what's to say It's actually her baby?' okay on my half it was a seriously stupid question to ask, but we'd been sat here for half a hour now and the only words that seemed to be flying out of JJ's mouth was baby, and even then he's get locked on and start rambling nonsense.

Taking his head out of his hands he looks up at me flabbergasted 'Hmm let's think' he starts, drumming his fingers onto his jeans 'Hello JJ, this is my child Albert, will you mind him a second while I finish getting dressed?' he spits at me hysterically and I have to literally bite down on my lip to stop the light laugh that's nearly escaping from my throat, because him imitating a girls voice is actually slightly funny right now.

'So what was the date like anyway?' I ask intrigued, he simply shrugs his shoulders 'well not that I have a lot of experience but I'm guessing she thought it was terrible' he sighs sadly, I offer my sympathetic hand on his shoulder 'and to top it off, her ex tells me to stay away from her at the end of the night' I raise my eyebrows

'What?' I ask a little rapidly and he nods.

'It doesn't matter anyway; I don't even know if I want to see her again'

'Well that's going to be a bit hard; she's in our philosophy class' I snigger lightly, he rubs his hand together, light bulbs flashing in his head 'well I didn't say we couldn't be friends...' I scoff and he fully turns his body to face me 'what? It happened with you and Naomi' I smile at this whilst he continues 'and how is she? Naomi Campbell, the girl of your dreams, the girl you've liked since-'

'She's fine!' I say laughing 'Yep, I love Naomi, she loves me and everything is just perfect' he looks at me a little sceptical 'why do I have a feeling everything's not all glitter and rainbows with you two?' he picks up on my hesitation, before his thoughts run wild I better correct him.

'Katie's ignoring me' he sighs out an understanding and nods his head gently 'Not that it bothers me that much' I ensure him 'It's not like just because we're twins we have to constantly talk to each other' I fold my arms tightly around my chest, he's not fooled by my fake not bothered facade.

'Don't worry; she has to get over it' I slowly lift my head up to him, smiling down at me 'why?' I ask and he gesture with his eyes over to the group of girls currently hanging about the front entrance 'because you're her sister' he simply states, and my eyes meet hers, stood there she's currently talking to that group of girls, whilst acting like she hasn't been looking at me, slowly a smile comes to my face because she still cares about me, I just know it, her eyes snap away of course.

When the crowd breaks up and Katie gets swallowed into the group of pink, My eyes fall to Lara making her way through the entrance also with a couple of friends, laughing and joking, I can already feel JJ up on his feet before I even have a chance to turn around 'So, I better go and find a seat, because...' he eyes Lara quickly before looking down at me apologetically 'I don't want to be sitting at the back' with a small little wave he runs inside the building like a little girl and I laugh.

'Why did JJ just run into college like a little girl?' I'm beginning to think this girl could read my fucking mind if she wanted to, no actually I'm probably just picking up things from her, I turn around as Naomi takes a seat on the step next to me, looking around cautious before gently kissing my cheek as soon as I feel the contact it's gone and I send her a small smile.

'I think he's scared of you' I say so serious that she stops shuffling through her bag for a minute, since she's probably just looking for her ciggies anyway, she looks up at me with slight pleasure but also guilt in her eyes.

'I-' she starts her sentence, stopping straight after and keeping eye contact with me, which I keep deadly serious, The look on her face is priceless, I burst out laughing within the second.

'That's not funny! I really thought I'd scared him away from you!' she says, laughing a long herself

'Hey' comes the unfamiliar voice from above me and Naomi, instantly our heads snap up and we try and die the laughing down, smiling she continues to speak, Lara that is.

'Have you guys seen JJ?' Her eyes bore into mine, and I've always been seriously shit and keeping little secrets like this, seriously massive important secrets are well kept, but stuff like this fuck, I must have been thinking long because Naomi elbows me in the side

'Sorry, No but he'll be in lesson later' I smile at her sadly and she just blows out a frustrated sigh before diverting her soft eyes back down to mine, I don't see why JJ's running away from her, he's wanted a girlfriend since like forever, and she seemed genuinely upset when I just told her I hadn't seen him, okay so the baby was a minor issue, alright maybe a major one but all great couples can surpass things surely, and great another elbow to the side

'Sorry' I blurt out looking up and Lara lets out a small laugh

'If you see him can you tell him I was asking?' she asks optimistically, I gently smile and nod my head at her, and she goes to turn away, before stopping and looking between me and Naomi hesitant still with that small smile.

'How long have you two been together?' My face drops.

'No we're not together...' I start

'Yeah we're just friends' Naomi stutters out.

'Close friends...' I confirm

'Best friends' she nods.

'Yep, me, JJ, and Naomi, all so close' and I finish, realising how fast we just said that and how much it completely looked like we were lying.

She continues to look between us, laughing nervously 'sorry I just assumed because you know' she doesn't finish, just gestured her hands between me and Naomi 'anyway I better go' she turns around this time, stopping again 'If it's any consolation...' she smiles 'you two make cute _best friends'_

I blush watching her walk away.

'Now that's the girl JJ ran away from like a little girl'

**

* * *

**

'Has anybody finished the project?' The class erupted into more moans, frankly I hadn't even started mine, it meant spending time with Effy, who technically spent most of her time with Katie so I seriously wasn't doing that, and obviously Naomi hadn't started hers, being as Katie was her partner and right now I doubt they want to go anywhere near each other.

Josie takes a new approach 'Has anybody even started?' she met with silence, frustrated she goes over to her desk picking up the list of groups 'we need to start them, unless everybody wants to be failed this year' she confirms.

'Actually, I'm going round to Emily's tonight to start it' My head snaps to Effy who's smirking, as does Naomi's, I can almost hear her role her eyes from the seat next to me, I just grab her hand under the table, only this time It doesn't go unknown by Katie as her eyes instantly find me and Naomi's locked hands.

It's like the whole class rooms faded and it's only me and Katie occupying the desks, it's really slow motion actually. I can hear Josie in the very back of my mind congratulating Effy for trying to start, I can hear Naomi's light breathing from next to me, but the only thing I'm focused on is Katie's eyes slowly making their way up from our linked hands to face my eyes, and suddenly both our sets our locked onto each others.

We continue to stare, my eyes full of hundreds of apologises of things I should be sorry for and hers full of, well I don't even know what she thinks about this whole situation anymore. Suddenly her eyes snap away 'actually miss' she says, smirking over at me 'I'm going over to Naomi's tonight to start... Isn't that right _Naoms_?'

Suddenly my apologetic stares turns into a what the fuck one but she seems more than pleased with herself and this plan she conjuring up 'actually were going over to your house, isn't that right _Katiekins' _Naomi spits right back, seemingly not just to Katie but back to Effy to smashing her dreams of having just us two alone tonight.

Josie eyes the four of us suspiciously before breaking out into a giant grin 'right, right! That's two groups, now who else are going to start on the project?'

Fuck tonight is so not going to be enjoyable.

* * *

'You know you don't have to do this' I kept reminding her when we were walking back to my house, We'd spend a couple of hours at Naomi's before I had to meet Effy at mine and Naomi meet Katie, she didn't seem that phased to actually be doing a project with her but seriously I couldn't concentrate because of it.

'Emily, it'll be fine, You're there anyway' she said smiling, whilst stuffing her hands in her jacket pocket, we weren't holding hands, basically because even from the bottom of the street I'd been seeing my mum everywhere, only in my mind of course but it kind of freaked me out.

Ramming my keys in the front door, I purposely stalled not really wanting to go in 'I don't see why Katie picks this fucking time to be academic' she laughs whilst following me into the hall way as I throw my keys on the table 'we had to start the work sometime' she comments, I nod in agreement, I'm just to walk into the living when Katie comes out of the kitchen, grinning from ear to ear...

'Hello girls' she says, smiling and looking between us, she's a conniving bitch, 'were up in my room' she says gesturing to the stairs before walking up them 'come on' I say walking up behind her that's when Katie turns around 'Actually Emily We'd just be distracted and Effy's coming over soon' I look at her in utter disbelief before tugging at Naomi's hand, which Katie only rolls her eyes at

'I'm not leaving her...'

'Emily we'll be fine' she says, looking past my shoulder and up to Katie with a smug smile on her face 'Let's just get this fucking project over with' she signs, but before I have time to protest she's walking past me and the door bell is ringing.

Half a hour later, A serious amount of finger nail biting, and catching Effy randomly staring at my face when she's meant to be concentrating on her part of the fucking work, and still no word from Naomi, okay so she's only upstairs and I can't hear any punching or hair pulling but still.

'Can you stop fucking staring at me?' I didn't lift my eyes from the paper, but I could tell she was smirking at me, she'd been sat in the same position for a while now, I'm telling you sometimes this girl fucking scares me, legs tucked under herself in our living room on the couch, two sentences scribbled down and me trying to avoid talking.

I snap, throwing my pen onto the coffee table and turning my body to face her entirely, jaw grinding 'seriously what is it? Have I got pen on my face? Because you've been looking at me-

I look at my watch for effect 'the last fucking half hour!'

She gently laughs not revealing too much, she shakes her head 'You're worried' she simply says, I turn my eyebrows up at her.

'What do you mean, _I'm worried?'_

'Nervous'

I'm about to tell her to quit the mind games when starts to speak again 'Emily, have you even seen what you've been writing?' confused, I divert my eyes down to the paper and fucking hell, not only have I been writing about the wrong subject, it also completely doesn't make sense, Have I really been that distracted.

'Go up' she says, I stare on until she elaborates 'go upstairs and check on precious Naomi, I'll fix this mess' she points down at the paper, and for once I'm actually glad to speak to her, I nod smiling at her before slipping out of the room and up the stairs, The first good sigh is that there isn't blood clawed marks a cross the door, which is always a positive when it comes to my sister and Naomi, the door's slightly ajar, but all I can see is Naomi's legs on my bed, from the position she's lying on her stomach, kicking them, No talking going on, actually all I can hear is typing coming from the other side of the room with Katie being on her laptop, I smile about to burst into the room when the silence is broken.

'I always knew your plan you know' Katie spits, I instantly freeze, hand on the door handle, ear literally centimetres away from it.

'What?' Naomi asks, sounding genuinely confused

'With Emily' she concludes, my heart pounds waiting for Naomi to answer, she simply sighs, repositioning herself on the bed, but continues to right.

'Can we just not? I really want to finish this tonight?'

Katie laughs, I hear the laptop close, and footsteps hit the floor, I really want to go in and ask what's going on but I can't help but feel without me around Katie's going to give her true opinions on the fact.

'It's so typical of people like you' she sneers, Naomi's coursework goes to one side, and she joins Katie by standing up

'People like me? And what the fuck is that supposed to mean?' Naomi sounds more frustrated than before, another laugh erupts through the room 'Dykes' Katie simply says and my blood boils, for once I'm not feeling scared for being who I am, I'm angry that Katie could even fucking think like that.

'I'm not...'

'Gay' Katie finishes sounding unconvinced 'same old story since school, _oh I'm not gay'_ she imitates Naomi's voice, 'biggest bullshit ever, because I heard you Naomi' she says

'Heard me?' Naomi repeats, sounding a little lost by the conversation.

'_I've never felt this way before, I can't stop wanting to see her, is this even normal?'_ Another imitation, I raise my eyebrow at the door confused, still peeping through the small open bit of door, hardly being able to see both of them anymore.

The room goes silent for a minute before a deep breath is taken 'You wasn't meant to hear that' Naomi says, breathing heavier 'Nobody was meant to fucking hear that!' she shouts sounding more maniac as Katie laughs.

'_I can't explain it, she's so nice- _

Katie mocks her 'really Naomi, you didn't even fucking know her and you already plotted your plans to get her into bed,' she takes a deep breath before continuing 'I heard it okay?'

'Shut up!' Naomi shouts, and this time I walk through the door, Katie's eyes instantly snap to mine smirking, but Naomi hasn't seen me yet, she's still facing Katie, fists clenched.

'You heard what?' Naomi's eyes snaps to mine, with something I've never truly seen before,

Fear


	16. Chapter 16

**:) This is a one off Katie chapter.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing, I appreicate it :)**

**x**

Watching Naomi completely wordless for once and Emily's face break isn't what made my face pull into the biggest, smuggest look as I pranced past Emily leaving her and Naomi alone, I don't want to hurt Emily, because believe me, I know how breakable Emily is, but she has to see that this is all wrong, it's not suppose to be this way, It can't be this way. I knew Naomi wouldn't tell Emily what I heard, because deep down she's just an insecure little bitch who's completely incapable of loving someone and when Emily finally realises that Naomi's a emotionally fucked up person she's going to need someone to come crying to and that's where I'll come in.

I wasn't ever going to repeat what I had seen and heard that day, but seeing Emily's shadow by our bedroom door and knowing that she would be able to hear this made it perfect, it could of went either way really. Naomi could have been completely forward about it, or she would push Emily away and piss off from us and go back to where she belongs. I know people, I fucking know her and I knew for a fact it would be the last option, because I was hitting her weakest spot.

I've worked ten times harder than everybody else, I've done everything to protect Emily, I'm not a bad sister if I was Emily I'd be fucking lucky to have me. There was something there, always fucking something there, she chose to be to the quiet one, she chose never to come out with us at weekends, she chose to stare gormlessly at that blonde bitch thinking I'd never seen her, first I kind of just ignored it, I mean who wouldn't fucking look at her? She was a weirdo.

But the stares got longer, the smiles got bigger when she was around and I was past suspicious, she'd smile back to; completely ignore everybody else... but smile at Emily.

I never understood it, they weren't friends, they never even fucking spoke but there was Emily having more confidence even being in the same room as her, I had to do something. Summer came and my suspicions died down, Emily was happy and _she_ wasn't around. Summer was great, it was the summer for boys and starting to try alcohol, Emily wasn't too pleased by it all but I put it down to her being a major geek and nothing more, but summer had to end sometime, and when year 9 started I was right back to square one.

I remember that day so clear, being pissed off because some twat of a teacher assigned me to a woodwork class instead of food technology, being more pissed off that our first lesson was about drilling holes into wood, mine snapping of course and the splinters of the wood jamming directly into my fucking finger, blood pouring on my coat and the butch teacher looking down at my cries of pain like I was a stupid pathetic little girl...

'_It's not that bad!' Mr Davies shouted whilst also successfully throwing spit my way, I wipe my tears and direct my scowl right at him pointing down at my finger_

'_It's bleeding' I protest, he just shifts his eyes from side to side slightly smirking_

'_You haven't seen real pain girly' he pulls his hands out of his overall pockets, throwing his fingers in front of my eye sight, and that's right, half of a finger he proudly states, terrible drilling accident._

_I winch in pain 'Please, it'll get infected!' he looks like he's about to protest for a second, before he sighs gesturing to the door for me to go._

_I'm walking down the halls effing and blinding, this schools a fucking joke, I clearly didn't pick the lesson I'm in but they are still making me take it, what kind of fucking injustice is that, walking towards the office where the woman keeps all the first aid shit, I hear soft sobs coming from there, and a calm voice obviously trying to calm the person down, _

'_fuck it' I mutter, taking a seat because I figure I'm going to be waiting for a while, There's no one around, the office is basically right at the back of the block were technology is, and no one ever uses it, so obviously I'm going to listen in on the nurse and her crying 'patient' seriously I'm good with people's problems, if I wasn't already certain I'm going to be a hair dresser then I'd be a councillor._

'_Come on what's wrong?' I hear the gentle female voice ask, and after a few more sniffles the other person answers, nothing sort of a muffled answer that is 'nothing' sniffs's up again._

'_You don't just start crying for nothing Naomi' Naomi? It was Naomi... god she got on my nerves, but crying? So wasn't her style._

'_I said it's fucking nothing!' spat the trembling voice, fuck even I nearly jumped off my seat at it, and there was a door separating us. _

'_Calm down Naomi' came the woman's voice again, and weirdly enough I felt kind of bad for sitting here, obviously whatever is going on and making Naomi Campbell cry must be bad, also must be private but still, I can't move myself from the seat._

_Naomi remains silent, the women sighs gently, I hear chair legs scratching against the floor 'Fine, well I'm sending you home then'_

'_No!' Naomi protests 'I-I want to talk' she says quietly, it remains silent._

'_There's someone...' she says quietly, my ears spring to attention '...I like a lot'_

_I hear the woman gently giggle 'I see' she says, sounding slightly amused 'Your first crush?' the women asks gently, Naomi clears her throat_

'_It's not a crush!' she protests _

'_So it's...' the women asks leading off_

'_I don't know' Naomi confirms 'but it's not a crush, crushes are for 5 year olds' I roll my eyes at this._

_The woman chuckles again, 'so what's the problem? Have you told him?'_

_Naomi voice grows tighter again, 'this is so stupid, I'm sorry to waste your time' the chair scraps again, and I'm ready to pick up and run out before she fucking catches me listening, but once again the women saves the day_

'_This isn't stupid, come on Naomi trust me here' hesitated silence_

'_It's not a boy'_

_I freeze, eyes popping out of my head, I would of gasped out in shock but knowing that I was listening would make me look seriously bad right now, I'm so shocked that my hand that was cradling my bleeding fingers have left it to cover my mouth, leaving the rough blood to trickle down onto my coat, and for once I don't care. _

_She crying again, but it's muffled so I'm guessing the women's hugging her right now, I should go, fucking leave and pretend I didn't hear any of this... but I can't, I was always one for a bit of gossip but this, fuck me this is huge. _

_They start talking again, but I miss a lot of it from still being in a daze, barely catching the last sentence spoken_

'_... and a lot of people go through this, some people are straight, some are gay'_

'_I'm not gay!' she sobs out._

'_It's just... __I've never felt this way before, I can't stop wanting to see her, is that even normal?'_

'_Completely normal Naomi' the woman says with a light tone... I stand up, ready to leave. 'Can't you just... have a quiet word with her?'_

_Naomi scoffs, loud scoff 'as if, she'll probably end up scared of me, it's strange I know' she says, trembling voice 'I just can't explain... she's so nice'_

'_And that's what you think... do you think she'd be mean and scared of you?'_

'_No, maybe, oh I don't know... Emily isn't like that'_

_My stomach drops, I run, run so fast that the door's on the block swing shut with a powerful bang, probably disturbing everybody's lesson, I can't think, it's all so fast... she likes Emily, no by the way she was going on she fucking loves her. No way, no fucking way, well it's not mutual, it's definitely not mutual._

_Please don't be mutual._

_I turn around to see a worried and slightly relieved looking Emily walking towards me, fragile, she always looks fragile._

'_Katie! Here you are, your teacher said you hurt your hand and I was worried so I came to find you and-'_

'_Fuck off!' I scream in her face, pushing past her but not missing the hurt look that spreads across her features. Should I tell her what I just heard? _

_It runs through my head all day, finally deciding not to tell her._

_I'm scared that her reaction might not have been the same as mine._

**

* * *

**

That's when protective sister stepped in, two weeks after Naomi little confession, she walked into maths, taking her regular seat at the front. Me and Emily sat at the back, more talk than work going on, then half way through the lesson she just turns around, Naomi, not having any reason at all turns around and smiles at Emily and to add insult to injury Emily reciprocates with the brightest smile I've ever seen and nervous ruffling of her hands, That's when I snapped.

2 days later it was all around the year, my rumour that is. I couldn't help myself; I wanted her to stay away from Emily, away from me, away from us. Turns out lesbian rumours spread round like a wild fire in a school environment, obviously I didn't tell anyone about Naomi fancying Emily; I kept my sister out of this.

By time year 11 was around Naomi didn't even try and look at Emily again, Emily was still with me, and everything was fucking perfect. My fear for Emily had died down a bit, We'd party, I'd find her a boy and then she'd go out with them, she seemed to enjoy it, no she did enjoy it. To my surprise Naomi would be at some parties to, and almost more surprising was when she'd be with a boy, my thoughts would always drift back to what I heard that day, maybe she was just confused.

She wasn't a problem anymore, school ended and college was about to start then we could put the immature school years behind us, except we couldn't really, because here she was again, Naomi Campbell, in the school hall waiting to be assigned to her form room. Me and Emily where laughing about random things until she noticed how I suddenly stopped and followed my eyesight.

'You just don't get rid of some people hey' Was Emily's choice of words, followed with a shoulder nudge, and I smiled, Like actually genuinely smiled for once because she was laughing about it and didn't even take a second look at her, I was paranoid, decided that I was paranoid actually.

I let them get close; I let them become friends again because Emily was actually genuinely happier around her, same with JJ, she just wanted her own decisions, a little fucking respect off me which I kindly gave her, obviously with a couple of warning about staying away from the lesbian Campbell because even though it had been 4 years and Naomi was a cold hearted bitch I still felt like I needed to protect her. But they were never friends, it didn't even come close to being friends because Naomi had this worked out all along, worm her way in a destroy everything I spent years guarding.

A slammed door and footsteps frantically bring me back to reality, although the smirk is no longer on my face when Emily enters the living room, Effy observing both of us. She squares up to me, like seriously right up to me and for once in my life Emily has frightened me for a second.

'What the fuck did you do?'

At the end of it all, I just felt like I had failed my job as a sister.


End file.
